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Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. v.39

Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. v. 39
Extinction of different flora and fauna is often considered as the most urgent environmental issues that we have to deal with nowadays. Although, some people might disagree because there are more pressing issues on our plate. I agree that extinction of species is a very serious matter, although I believe that global warming is a more crucial situation that we have to deal with. On one hand, The disappearance of some species has been escalating over the years as a result from human activities such as deforestation and illegal hunting. This rapid rate of extinction is especially grave for some country, as these species hold a cultural significance. Furthermore, loss of biodiversity and ecosystem balance will soon follow the species' disappearance. On the other hand, a recent study shows that there are more critical issues at hand. Global warming, which is described with increasing amount of carbon monoxide in the atmosphere will result in rising temperature and sea levels. Pollution is also escalating, mainly those concerning trash and the burning of fossil fuels. Consequently, they become, the most prominent threats these past few years. Moreover, one research even suggests that most of Europe will be relocated below sea levels in 5 years time if they are increasing with the same rate as they are today. In my opinion, we can't deny the fact that extinction of different species is a significant issue we're currently dealing with. Although, I must disagree with the statement as a recent study indicates that global warming and pollution is a more vital threat. To sum up, some individuals agree that the extinction of species must be prioritized. However, others believe that there are more pressing issues such as rising temperature and sea levels along with pollution.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Extinction
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
flora and fauna is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
considered as the most urgent environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
that we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
deal with nowadays. Although,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
might disagree
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there are more pressing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
on our plate. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extinction
of species is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
serious matter, although I believe that global warming is a more crucial situation that we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
deal with.

On one hand, The disappearance of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
species has been escalating over the years
as a result
from human activities such as deforestation and illegal hunting. This rapid rate of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extinction
is
especially
grave for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
country, as these species hold a cultural significance.
Furthermore
, loss of biodiversity and ecosystem balance will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
follow the species' disappearance.

On the other hand
, a recent study
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that there are more critical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
at hand. Global warming, which is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
described
with increasing amount of carbon monoxide in the atmosphere will result in rising temperature and sea levels. Pollution is
also
escalating,
mainly
those concerning trash and the burning of fossil fuels.
Consequently
, they become, the most prominent threats these past few years.
Moreover
, one research even suggests that most of Europe will
be relocated
below sea levels in 5 years time if they are increasing with the same rate as they are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
.

In my opinion, we can't deny the fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extinction
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
species is a significant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issue
we're
currently
dealing with. Although, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
disagree with the statement as a recent study indicates that global warming and pollution is a more vital threat.

To sum up,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
individuals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extinction
of species
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be prioritized
.
However
, others believe that there are more pressing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
such as rising temperature and sea levels along with pollution.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
A foreign language is like a frail, delicate muscle. If you do not use it, it weakens.
Jhumpa Lahiri

IELTS essay Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. v. 39

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
291 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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