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Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. v.36

Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. v. 36
These days, the environmental issue represents a huge problem, since in the last decade the human activities have deeply impaired it. To this extent, some people deem the loss of some animals and vegetable species as the most tragic event, while others highlight that more relevant problems are hidden behind this dramatic situation. I totally agree with this second point of view and in this essay I will offer some food for thoughts. Firstly, the species impairment is actually a consequence of more important harms. In details, the human activities have taken too much advantage of the environment and the technological development has been one of the most important causes of its alteration. What I mean is that pollution due to the intensive use of various means of transports such as to industries and so on, together with other practises as deforestation has, of course, contribute to this phenomenon and interest a wider distribution. Another reason for this, is probably the major cause of everything, or rather the global warming. For instance, this problem affects areas all over the world. Particularly, the comprehensive increase of temperatures has surely impaired animals and plants, but also has affected seas, lakes, glacial areas with the augment of sea levels. As a result, this would cause more dangerous problems that would also interest the human being. Having said that, also the loss of various species is a main concern, since it is a real consequence of what has been said before. The existence of all species, in fact, guarantees a good balance in the world, with a complex mechanism prey-predator and its impairment is itself prompter of others main environmental issues. To sum up, many problems have been nowadays recognised to be pivotal for the environmental problem and into this view we can both consider the loss of species and the global warming. I believe that there's no a ranking to be filled, but all should be considered as major problems since are deeply interconnected by a cause-consequence logic. Personally, I think we all should start correcting our behaviours to take care of the environment.
These days, the environmental issue represents a huge
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
, since in the last decade the human activities have
deeply
impaired it. To this extent,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
deem the loss of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
animals and vegetable species as the most tragic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
, while others highlight that more relevant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
are hidden
behind this dramatic situation. I
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this second point of view and in this essay I will offer
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
food for thoughts.

Firstly
, the species impairment is actually a consequence of more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
harms. In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
, the human activities have taken too much advantage of the environment and the technological development has been one of the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
causes of its alteration. What I mean is that pollution due to the intensive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of various means of transports such as to industries and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on, together with other
Possible spelling mistake. 'practises' is British English.
practises
as deforestation has,
of course
, contribute to this phenomenon and interest a wider distribution.

Another reason for this, is
probably
the major cause of everything, or
rather
the global warming.
For instance
, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
affects areas all over the world.
Particularly
, the comprehensive increase of temperatures has
surely
impaired animals and plants,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
seas, lakes, glacial areas with
After 'the', do not use a verb. Make sure that the spelling of 'augment' is correct. If 'augment' is the first word in a compound adjective, use a hyphen between the two words. Note: This error message can occur if you use a verb as a noun, and the word is not a noun in standard English.
the augment
of sea levels.
As a result
, this would cause more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
that would
also
interest the human being.

Having said that,
also
the loss of various species is a main concern, since it is a real consequence of what has
been said
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
. The existence of all species, in fact, guarantees a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
balance in the world, with a complex mechanism prey-predator and its impairment is itself prompter of others main environmental issues.

To sum up,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
have been nowadays
Possible spelling mistake. 'recognised' is British English.
recognised
to be pivotal for the environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
and into this view we can both consider the loss of species and the global warming. I believe that there's
Did you mean "now" (=at this moment) instead of 'no' (negation)?
no
a ranking to
be filled
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
all should
be considered
as major
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
since are
deeply
interconnected by a cause-consequence logic.
Personally
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
we all should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
correcting our
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviours' is British English.
behaviours
to take care of the environment.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. v. 36

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
351 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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