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Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. v.35

Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. v. 35
Until now, many species of specific plants and animals have disappeared around the world. Although some people insist that this is the major environmental problem of our era, I would argue that global warming is a more serious problem. There are some good arguments which show us how a serious problem the disappearance of particular species of plants and animals on our earth is. This problem has been caused by the actions of us, such as cutting a lot of rainforests to build cities. These actions have made various species of plants and animals extinct, robbing them of their habitats. If we continue to take such actions from now on, the ecosystem will be more seriously damaged, and it will make many more species died out. The demonstration is that because of the disturbance ecosystem and food chain caused by us, a species for a prayer become extinct, which causes starvation for this predator. Despite the above arguments, I strongly believe that we need to pay as much attention to global warming as we can. This environmental problem leads to a rise in temperature in our world. Then, this makes the polar ice caps melt and sea levels rise. This situation creates the fear of many lowland areas on earth going under the sea. Due to the rise in temperature, also, more extreme weather conditions may happen and, flooding and droughts can become more common. These adverse impacts of global warming on the environment must endanger not only plants and animals but also even us. For example, many areas in the world have become deserts and this has made it harder for us to obtain enough water to live. This is a bad effect of global warming. To conclude, it seems to me that taking care of global warming as an environmental problem is more significant compared with the extinction of specific species of plants and animals.
Until
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
species of specific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plants
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
have disappeared around the world. Although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
insist that this is the major environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
of our era, I would argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
warming
is a more serious problem.

There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
arguments which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
us how a serious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
the disappearance of particular species of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plants
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
on our earth is. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
has
been caused
by the actions of us, such as cutting
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
rainforests to build cities. These actions have made various species of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plants
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
extinct, robbing them of their habitats. If we continue to take such actions from
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
on, the ecosystem will be more
seriously
damaged, and it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more species
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
died
out. The demonstration is that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the disturbance ecosystem and food chain caused by us, a species for a prayer become extinct, which causes starvation for this predator.

Despite the above arguments, I
strongly
believe that we need to pay as much attention to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
warming
as we can. This environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
leads to a rise in temperature in our world. Then, this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
the polar ice caps melt and sea levels rise. This situation creates the fear of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
lowland areas on earth going under the sea. Due to the rise in temperature,
also
, more extreme weather conditions may happen and, flooding and droughts can become more common. These adverse impacts of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
warming
on the environment
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
endanger not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plants
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
even us.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
areas in the world have become deserts and this has made it harder for us to obtain
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
water to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
. This is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
effect of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
warming.

To conclude
, it seems to me that taking care of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
warming
as an environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
is more significant compared with the extinction of specific species of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plants
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. v. 35

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
317 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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