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Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. v.34

Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. v. 34
While many people are of the opinion that the disappearance of flora and fauna is the urgent environmental problem that humans need to tackle, another view shared by the others is that people should address other related-environment issues. From my own perspective, it is my opinion that others are more vital. On the one hand, people have reasons to think that some special kinds of plants and animals are on the edge of extinction, which is one of the big threats to the environment. Advocates of this opinion argue that they play a crucial role in the advancement of human civilization. In fact, it is apparent that plants and animals are the main food provision sources for humans. Indeed, if these sources are disappeared in the world, people could face a shortage of food that is a contemporarily serious problem in some countries. On the other hand, I still concur with the idea that air pollution is the environmental problem that people should take steps to deal with. The initial rationale is that this type of problem can affect significantly the planet. For instance, gas emissions from factories and exhaust fumes from vehicles lead to global warming, which may have a devastating impact on the earth in the future. Furthermore, it is hard to solve strictly the main reasons cause air pollution. This is due to the fact that these causes involve directly in humans’ benefits and habits, and asking humans to change them is virtually impossible. It is difficult to advise people to use public transport instead of private cars, for example. In conclusion, the loss of flora and fauna is the critical related-environment issue that we should take actions to reduce. However, people need to give the top priority to find visionary solutions for air pollution.
While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are of the opinion that the disappearance of flora and fauna is the urgent environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
need to tackle, another view shared by the others is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should address
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
related-environment issues. From my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
perspective, it is my opinion that others are more vital.

On the one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have reasons to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
special kinds of plants and animals are on the edge of extinction, which is one of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
threats to the environment. Advocates of this opinion argue that they play a crucial role in the advancement of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
civilization. In fact, it is apparent that plants and animals are the main food provision sources for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
.
Indeed
, if these sources
are disappeared
in the world,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
could face a shortage of food
that is
a
contemporarily
serious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
countries.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, I
still
concur with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that air pollution is the environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should take steps to deal with. The initial rationale is that this type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
can affect
significantly
the planet.
For instance
, gas emissions from factories and exhaust fumes from vehicles lead to global warming, which may have a devastating impact on the earth in the future.
Furthermore
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to solve
strictly
the main reasons cause air pollution.
This is due to the fact that
these causes involve
directly
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans’
benefits and habits, and asking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
them is
virtually
impossible. It is difficult to advise
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
public transport
instead
of private cars,
for example
.

In conclusion
, the loss of flora and fauna is the critical related-environment issue that we should take actions to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
.
However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
need to give the top priority to find visionary solutions for air pollution.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
The limits of my language mean the limits of my world.
Ludwig Wittgenstein

IELTS essay Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. v. 34

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
298 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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