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Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. v.29

Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. v. 29
Although, Some individuals believe that the key environmental problem is the extinction of some plants and animals, the other believes there are more other concerning environmental issues. In this essay both views are thoroughly discussed. Examining the former view, Every flora and fauna have their specific importance in ecological cycle. All are directly or indirectly dependent on each other as a chain reaction. For instance, earth worm plays a vital role in the growth of plants with the help of nitrogenises process and in the end it becomes part of the food chain. Moreover, if one block misses in this natural process, drastic changes can be seen at all levels of the cycle. Furthermore, if once a species are lost, then it is almost impossible to get it back, no matter to how much extent we try. However, there are a plethora of other environment related issues, which are needed to attention in prior basis. Firstly, depletion of natural resources in an uncontrollable manner, which will lead us to the problem of unavailability in the future. For example, all the fuel mines on earth are loosing its reserve exponentially, due to this it has been forecasted that in next fifty years we will lose all of our fossil fuels. Secondly, the problem of pollution control should be our top priority as due to this we are facing some grave problem such as Ozone depletion and Global warming, as a side effect it leads to un-periodic weather pattern and melting of glaciers. In addition, due to after effects of pollution all habitats of innocent animals are getting effected, natural forests life is becoming harsh and harsh for their habitat. In conclusion, All issues are important if it is related to the environment. In my opinion, all are dependent on each other if one gets affected then the other will get too, so all concerns need to be addressed on equal priority.
Although,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
individuals believe that the key environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
is the extinction of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
plants and animals, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
believes there are more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
concerning environmental issues. In this essay both views are
thoroughly
discussed.

Examining the former view, Every flora and fauna have their specific importance in ecological cycle. All are
directly
or
indirectly
dependent on each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
as a chain reaction.
For instance
, earth worm plays a vital role in the growth of plants with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of
Possible spelling mistake. 'nitrogenises' is British English.
nitrogenises
process and in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
it becomes part of the food chain.
Moreover
, if one block misses in this natural process, drastic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
at all levels of the cycle.
Furthermore
, if once a species
are lost
, then it is almost impossible to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
it back, no matter to how much extent we try.

However
, there are a plethora of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
environment related issues, which
are needed
to attention in prior basis.
Firstly
, depletion of natural resources
Consider replacing "in an uncontrollable manner" with the adverb for "uncontrollable"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in an uncontrollable manner
, which will lead us to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
of unavailability in the future.
For example
, all the fuel mines on earth are loosing its reserve
exponentially
, due to this it has
been forecasted
that in
next
fifty years we will lose all of our fossil fuels.
Secondly
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
of pollution control should be our top priority as due to this we are facing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
grave
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
such as Ozone depletion and Global warming, as a side effect it leads to
Possible spelling mistake found.
un-periodic
weather pattern and melting of glaciers.
In addition
, due to after effects of pollution all habitats of innocent animals are getting effected, natural forests life is becoming harsh and harsh for their habitat.

In conclusion
, All issues are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
if it
is related
to the environment.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
In
my opinion, all are dependent on each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
if one
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
then the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
too,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
all concerns need to
be addressed
on equal priority.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
10Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.
Nelson Mandela

IELTS essay Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. v. 29

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
320 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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