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Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. v.28

Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. v. 28
To date, much wildlife has become extinct around the world. Although some people insist that this is the main environmental problem, in my opinion, global warming is a more serious environmental problem. The reason why some people are so focused on plant and animal lives is that more and more species are dying out. This problem has been caused by human activities, such as cutting a lot of rainforests to build the cities. If we continue taking such action, the ecosystem will be more seriously damaged. This means that the food chain will also be disturbed, and many more species will become extinct. For example, in the state of Utah in the U. S. the population of deer has dramatically increased because of the decrease in the number of pumas eating deer due to our overhunting. Consequently, deer have eaten plants too much and many species of plants have disappeared there. Despite the above argument, I strongly believe that we need to pay as much attention to global warming as we can. This is because this environmental problem endangers not only plants and animals but also even us. Global warming allows the polar ice caps to melt and sea level to rise, which creates the fear of lowland areas going under the sea. For example, Tuvalu which is an island nation in Polynesia is well-known as one of the lowland areas exposed to the threat of going under the sea. Also, global warming causes climate change with flooding and droughts more common on our earth. To conclude, it is apparent to me that taking care of global warming is more crucial than the extinction of specific species of plants and animals.
To date, much wildlife has become extinct around the world. Although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
insist that this is the main environmental problem, in my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
warming
is a more serious environmental problem.

The reason why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
focused on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plant
and animal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
is that more and more species are dying out. This problem has
been caused
by human activities, such as cutting
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
rainforests to build the cities. If we continue taking such action, the ecosystem will be more
seriously
damaged. This means that the food chain will
also
be disturbed
, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more species will become extinct.
For example
, in the state of Utah in the U. S. the population of deer has
dramatically
increased
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the decrease in the number of pumas eating deer due to our overhunting.
Consequently
, deer have eaten
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plants
too much and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
species of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plants
have disappeared there.

Despite the above argument, I
strongly
believe that we need to pay as much attention to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
warming
as we can. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
this environmental problem endangers not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plants
and animals
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
even us.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
warming
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
the polar ice caps to melt and sea level to rise, which creates the fear of lowland areas going under the sea.
For example
, Tuvalu which is an island nation in Polynesia is well-known as one of the lowland areas exposed to the threat of going under the sea.
Also
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
warming
causes climate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
with flooding and droughts more common on our earth.

To conclude
, it is apparent to me that taking care of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
warming
is more crucial than the extinction of specific species of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plants
and animals.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
15Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. v. 28

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
281 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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