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Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. v.27

Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. v. 27
These days, there are several opinions regarding which is the top most environmental issue. Whereas some people suggesting about the declining ratio of specific plants and animals, other contrasting it and claiming that other there some other problem are vitally important instead of this. I completely agree with the latter view. It is undoubtedly true that loosing essential trees and creatures are considerably one of the environmental issues. In other words, nowadays, several medicines are being made from unique plants and are now in tremendous danger of availability. In this case, if these plants are no longer available in the future than few critical disease will not be cured. Take an example of trees such as Ayurvedic plants. Moreover, few particular species such as tiger and jaguar, which are wild animals, are currently in great danger of being lost from the world. Such kind of mammals helps life cycle of the environment to continue because they are hunting other animals and helping to maintain the population different creatures. However, it is also crucial to take in account of facts which is stating to focus other environmental damages such as water crisis and greenhouse effects. As the water is one of the vital important thing for living life, human requires to come up with the strategic plans to solve it otherwise there is no life for human, plants and animals. In addition, a greenhouse effect which is also a top most threat to all living creatures. The result of this, the environment’s temperature will be fluctuate at a high rate and eventually everything will be vanished. Thus, theses are the top most challenge for human this day to deal with it compare to few specific living species. In conclusion, while few specific plants and animals are important to humankind and environment indirectly, in my point of view, it is a good idea to consider first several others risks which are more direct.
These days, there are several opinions regarding which is the top most environmental issue. Whereas
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
suggesting about the declining ratio of specific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plants
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
contrasting it and claiming that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
there
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
problem are
vitally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
instead
of this. I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the latter view.

It is
undoubtedly
true that loosing essential trees and creatures are
considerably
one of the environmental issues. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words, nowadays, several medicines are
being made
from unique
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plants
and are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
in tremendous
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
of availability.
In this case
, if these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plants
are no longer available in the future than few critical disease will not
be cured
. Take an example of trees such as Ayurvedic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plants
.
Moreover
, few particular species such as tiger and jaguar, which are wild
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
, are
currently
in great
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
of
being lost
from the world. Such kind of mammals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
life cycle of the environment to continue
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are hunting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
and helping to maintain the population
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
creatures.

However
, it is
also
crucial to take in account of facts which is stating to focus
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
environmental damages such as water crisis and greenhouse effects. As the water is one of the vital
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
thing for living life, human requires to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
up with the strategic plans to solve it
otherwise
there is no life for human,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plants
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
.
In addition
, a greenhouse effect which is
also
a top most threat to all living creatures. The result of this, the environment’s temperature will be
Consider using the past participle "fluctuated"?
fluctuate
at a high rate and
eventually
everything will
be vanished
.
Thus
, theses are the top most challenge for human this day to deal with it compare
Did you mean "too"?
to
few specific living species.

In conclusion
, while few specific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plants
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to humankind and environment
indirectly
, in my point of view, it is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
to consider
first
several others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
which are more direct.
17Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
17Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
Learning is a treasure that will follow its owner everywhere.
Chinese Proverb

IELTS essay Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. v. 27

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
321 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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