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Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. v.23

Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. v. 23
Over the last few decades, we have witnessed that the environmental condition has worsened. Some people say the main issue is the loss of biodiversity while others hold the opinion against it. From my perspective, although it would be sad to hear that many animals and plants are disappearing from us, there are some other problems of more significance. On one hand, the disappearance of plants and animals is a thorny issue indeed. Unregulated human activities has broken the ecological balance of nature in different areas. For instance, in recent years, the Brazilian president carried out policies to encouraged logging and reclaiming, which has later drawn international strictures. Companies and the government, consequently, has been despoiling the resources of the Amazon forest, causing the extinction of many species of plants and animals. Therefore, protecting biodiversity is now a pressing task for human beings. On the other hand, there are still other issues of more significance. Global warming is potential threat to us. To illustrate, research shows that the glaciers in the North Pole will completely melt in the next few decades if no effective measures are taken. This means that sea level will rise, drowning thousands of islands. To make matters worse, places like Maldives and Mauritius will soon disappear as well, annihilating not only plants and animals but the whole local civilization. In conclusion, I would argue that although the loss of biodiversity is an important problem, we should pay more attention on problems like global warming, which will not only affect plants and animals but ourselves directly.
Over the last few decades, we have witnessed that the environmental condition has worsened.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
say the main issue is the loss of biodiversity while others hold the opinion against it. From my perspective, although it would be sad to hear that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plants
are disappearing from us, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
problems of more significance.

On one hand, the disappearance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plants
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
is a thorny issue
indeed
. Unregulated human activities has broken the ecological balance of nature in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
areas.
For instance
, in recent years, the Brazilian president carried out policies to encouraged logging and reclaiming, which has later drawn international strictures.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Companies
and the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
,
consequently
, has been despoiling the resources of the Amazon forest, causing the extinction of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
species of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plants
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
.
Therefore
, protecting biodiversity is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
a pressing task for human beings.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, there are
still
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
issues of more significance. Global warming is potential threat to us. To illustrate, research
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that the glaciers in the North Pole will completely melt in the
next
few decades if no effective measures
are taken
. This means that sea level will rise, drowning thousands of islands. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
matters worse, places
A determiner is probably missing here: "like the Maldives".
like Maldives
and Mauritius will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
disappear
as well
, annihilating not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plants
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the whole local civilization.

In conclusion
, I would argue that although the loss of biodiversity is an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
problem, we should pay more attention on problems like global warming, which will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
affect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plants
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
ourselves
directly
.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
13Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. v. 23

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
259 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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