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Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. v.19

Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. v. 19
Some people consider that species extinction of plants and animals is the core environmental problem nowadays. While individual species conservation is crucial, I do agree with those who believe that other environmental issues are more important. On the one hand, it is undeniable that the absence of certain plants and animals is an essential threat these days that leads to many catastrophic results. On land, wild animals are being hunted to extinction for bushmeat, decoration, or medicinal products. At sea, huge industrial fishing boats equipped with bottom-trawling or purse-seine nets pulled fish out of the oceans faster than nature can replace them. Moreover, species-rich wild forests which act as carbon sinks are being destroyed, especially in the tropics, and often have to make way for cattle ranching, soybean or other agricultural monocultures. People would loss the resources of fresh air and animals might have the failure to find a habitat. Therefore, the dying-out of individual species of plants and animals is the significant problem which should be tackled with as soon as possible. On the other hand, there are more environmental problems we need to concern about such as the polluted air and the alteration of climate. Nowadays, the air pollution is a serious issue which needs to be resolved immediately. From smog hanging over cities to exhaust gas from cars, air pollution poses a major threat to public health and the whole atmosphere. In addition, the climate change which could rise the sea levels and cause more extreme weather conditions will definitely trigger off the disappearance of wild animals and endanger the existence of human beings. Thus, if the problems mentioned above continue, there is little hope for the future, including both plants, animals and humans. In conclusion, the loss of particular species of plants and animals is obviously a major problem nowadays, but other environmental issues like air pollution and climate change are even more urgent.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
consider that species extinction of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plants
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
is the core
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
nowadays. While individual species conservation is crucial, I do
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with those who believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
issues are more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
.

On the one hand, it is undeniable that the absence of certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plants
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
is an essential threat these days that leads to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
catastrophic results. On land, wild
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
are
being hunted
to extinction for
Possible spelling mistake found.
bushmeat
, decoration, or medicinal products. At sea, huge industrial fishing boats equipped with bottom-trawling or purse-seine nets pulled fish out of the oceans faster than nature can replace them.
Moreover
, species-rich wild forests which act as carbon sinks are being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroyed
,
especially
in the tropics, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
way for cattle ranching, soybean or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
agricultural
Possible spelling mistake found.
monocultures
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
would
"loss" is a noun. Did you mean the verb "lose" (= 'to lose')?
loss
the resources of fresh
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
might have the failure to find a habitat.
Therefore
, the dying-out of individual species of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plants
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
is the significant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
which should
be tackled
with as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
as possible.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, there are more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
we need to concern about such as the polluted
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
and the alteration of climate. Nowadays, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
pollution is a serious issue which needs to
be resolved
immediately. From smog hanging over cities to exhaust gas from cars,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
pollution poses a major threat to public health and the whole atmosphere.
In addition
, the climate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
which could rise the sea levels and cause more extreme weather conditions will definitely trigger off the disappearance of wild
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
and endanger the existence of human beings.
Thus
, if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
mentioned above continue, there is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
hope for the future, including both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plants
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
and humans.

In conclusion
, the loss of particular species of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plants
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
is
obviously
a major
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
nowadays,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
issues like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
pollution and climate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
are even more urgent.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
31Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. v. 19

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
318 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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