Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. v.15

Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. v. 15
Many are of the opinion that the risks for endangered plants and wildlife are the most severe consequences of our worsening environment while others would argue that other problems are more pressing. While I consider the impact of recurring natural disasters to be important, in my opinion the loss of wildlife is the most serious threat to the environment. The rise in recent catastrophic natural disasters has been strongly linked to climate change. Many scientists have made the case that incremental rises in temperature, specifically involving the oceans, has increased the frequency and potency of hurricanes, tsunamis, and blizzards. There are countless instances of these from the last two decades, but the tsunami affecting mainly Indonesia, Malaysia and Thailand in 2004 is a particularly striking example. This was the largest natural disaster this century and resulted in thousands of deaths, injuries and billions of dollars in damages, the effects of which set these developing nations back economically for years. People lost their lives, homes, and livelihood in many cases. The main reason that many people including myself are so focused on plant and animal life is because of the rising number of endangered animals in recent decades. One of the most well-known examples of this is the often cited case of polar bears. Polar bears live mainly in the Arctic and recent melting of the polar ice caps has resulted in reduced ice for polar bears to hunt on. Polar bears have become an endangered species and it is often forecast that by 2100 they will be entirely extinct in the wild. Their extinction will likely have a domino effect on the fragile ecosystems of the arctic and other endangered animals like seals and narwhales. This is just one example of the impact of global warming on animals and plants of our planet. Extinction is irreversible and there is no more lasting impression we can leave than to deplete the world entirely of a species. To conclude, in my opinion, the loss of ecological diversity trumps any other environmental concerns. In order to remedy this problem governments and individuals need to take serious steps to not only invest more in conservation efforts for endangered animals, but also work towards long term reforms related to fossil fuels, carbon emissions and the other apparent catalysts for climate change.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
are of the opinion that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
endangered
plants and wildlife are the most severe consequences of our worsening environment while others would argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
problems are more pressing. While I consider the impact of recurring natural disasters to be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
, in my opinion the loss of wildlife is the most serious threat to the environment.

The rise in recent catastrophic natural disasters has been
strongly
linked to climate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
scientists have made the case that incremental rises in temperature,
specifically
involving the oceans, has increased the frequency and potency of hurricanes, tsunamis, and blizzards. There are countless instances of these from the last two decades,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the tsunami affecting
mainly
Indonesia, Malaysia and Thailand in 2004 is a
particularly
striking example. This was the largest natural disaster this century and resulted in thousands of deaths, injuries and billions of dollars in damages, the effects of which set these developing nations back
economically
for years.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
lost their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
, homes, and livelihood in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
cases.

The main reason that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
including myself are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
focused on plant and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
life is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the rising number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
endangered
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
in recent decades. One of the most well-known examples of this is the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
cited case of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
polar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bears
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Polar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bears
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
mainly
in the Arctic and recent melting of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
polar
ice caps has resulted in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
ice for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
polar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bears
to hunt on.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Polar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bears
have become an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
endangered
species and it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
forecast that by 2100 they will be
entirely
extinct in the wild. Their extinction will likely have a domino effect on the fragile ecosystems of the arctic and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
endangered
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
like seals and
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "narwhals", the plural form of the noun 'narwhal'?
narwhales
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
one example of the impact of global warming on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
and plants of our planet. Extinction is irreversible and there is no more lasting impression we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
than to deplete the world
entirely
of a species.

To conclude
, in my opinion, the loss of ecological diversity trumps any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
environmental concerns. In order to remedy this problem
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
and individuals need to take serious steps to not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
invest more in conservation efforts for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
endangered
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
work towards long term reforms related to fossil fuels, carbon emissions and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
apparent catalysts for climate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
23Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. v. 15

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
386 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts