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Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. v.13

Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. v. 13
Nowadays, in our industrial world, some people claim that the most important issue for this time we live in is animals extinction and also plants. However, others mention that we have some other major crises like air pollution or the thickness of the ozone layer. On the one hand, without any hesitation, animals and plants have an equal right to live on the earth like us. Furthermore, it is our responsibility to protect them and try to prevent their extinction, one of the practical way to achieve this goal is that we should allocate some parts of our national budget to enhance the zoo’s facilities and equipment which could be a good way to protect animals. Besides that, we should make some strong laws for unauthorized predators and terminate these kinds of predation. As a result, we should consider more real action to save unique species and other living beings. On the other hand, some people express that we have some crucial environmental problems and it would become a massive tension if we do not act quickly. For instance, we should try to replace our fossil fuels with renewable sources and using electric cars and also hybrids could be a turning point for our generation. besides, encouraging people to use public transportation and make it to a moral value could be useful and it could be also beneficial for the next generation too. So, we should be conscious of our environmental problems and our nature. In conclusion, although it is important to care about animals’ habitats and plants, I think we should take serious action about air or water pollution and try to save our planet before it gets too late.
Nowadays, in our industrial world,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
claim that the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
issue for this time we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
extinction and
also
plants.
However
, others mention that we have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
major crises like air pollution or the thickness of the ozone layer.

On the one hand, without any hesitation,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
and plants have an equal right to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
on the earth like us.
Furthermore
, it is our responsibility to protect them and try to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
their extinction, one of the practical way to achieve this goal is that we should allocate
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
parts of our national budget to enhance the zoo’s facilities and equipment which could be a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
way to protect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
.
Besides
that, we should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
strong laws for unauthorized predators and terminate these kinds of predation.
As a result
, we should consider more real action to save unique species and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
living beings.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
express that we have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
crucial environmental problems and it would become a massive tension if we do not act
quickly
.
For instance
, we should try to replace our fossil fuels with renewable sources and using electric cars and
also
hybrids could be a turning point for our generation.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
besides
, encouraging
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
public transportation and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it to a moral value could be useful and it could be
also
beneficial for the
next
generation too.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, we should be conscious of our environmental problems and our nature.

In conclusion
, although it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to care about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals’
habitats and plants, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
we should take serious action about air or water pollution and try to save our planet
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
too late.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. v. 13

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
281 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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