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Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinions. v.12

Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. v. 12
Nowadays, our environment is extremely polluted. While some people think that the worst effect is the extinction of many kinds of plants and animals, others think that there are also a lot of problems which outweighed the disappearance of these species. I tend to agree with the latter argument and this essay will discuss both sides of the topic. On the one hand, there are various reasons why people believe that the lost of animals and plants is important. Thís is because they have vital roles in balancing the ecosystem and maintaining the diversity of creatures in the world. From my perspective, the disappearance of only one type of animal or plant can lead to many problems. To take one example, if the extinction of mouse happens, some species like snake may become starved. In spite of these statements, I believe that there are still many intense problems which affect out life directly. In my opinion, issues which stemmed from contaminated environment such as the pollution of water or air may damage the human health strictly. Moreover, these aforementioned problems are also the main causes of the destruction of animals and plants. To illustrate this point, both humans and animals cannot be existed without clean water. To conclude, although the disappearance of animals and plants lead to different issues, I personally think that other issues are more serious.
Nowadays, our environment is
extremely
polluted. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the worst effect is the extinction of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
kinds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plants
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
, others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that there are
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
which outweighed the disappearance of these species. I tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the latter argument and this essay will discuss both sides of the topic.

On the one hand, there are various reasons why
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that the lost of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plants
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Thís
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they have vital roles in balancing the ecosystem and maintaining the diversity of creatures in the world. From my perspective, the disappearance of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
one type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plant
can lead to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
. To take one example, if the extinction of mouse happens,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
species like snake may become starved.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
In spite of
these statements, I believe that there are
still
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
intense
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
which
Did you mean "effect"?
affect
out life
directly
. In my opinion, issues which stemmed from contaminated environment such as the pollution of water or air may damage the human health
strictly
.
Moreover
, these aforementioned
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
are
also
the main causes of the destruction of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plants
. To illustrate this point, both humans and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
cannot
be existed
without clean water.

To conclude
, although the disappearance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plants
lead to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
issues, I
personally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that other issues are more serious.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
15Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
Language is the blood of the soul into which thoughts run and out of which they grow.
Oliver Wendell Holmes

IELTS essay Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. v. 12

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
228 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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