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Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. v.10

Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. v. 10
With increasing concerns about the environment, people want to know what is the key issue related to the environment. A part of people think that the disappearance of special kinds of trees and animals is the key trouble while other parts of them believe that some other serious phenomenon are worth to consider. In my opinion, I agree that losing plants and animals are extremely dangerous to the earth. However, we should solve other problems at this moment such as air pollution and climate change. Admittedly, more and more species are extinct from the world. For example, the recent forest fire in Australia has destroyed a huge area of the land where millions of animals and trees have been habituated there. Although their extinction won’t cause a direct influence on humanity’s survival, it actually leads to the change of the whole ecosystem. Such a change will contribute to more serious problems of earth like global warming. In addition, the decreasing number of species means the survival risk is increasing because human find that they will meet more serious ecological and environmental difficulties with less species living with them. However, extreme weather and lower quality of air are more serious in human’s daily life. For instance, survey conducted by a Chinese medical organization that the increased population suffering lung cancer has direct relationships with the over high density of PM2. Moreover, hurricane, typhoon and sandy storm attack us frequently. Obviously, uncertain awful weather and dirty air are threatening us so that we have to solve them first. Base on the discussion, the extinction of some plants and animals is one of serious environment questions because it shows that threaten is closed to us. But nature disaster and polluted air are the most serious issues encountering by our generation. Thus, I think that other problems are more important than losing some special species.
With increasing concerns about the environment,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
want to know what is the key issue related to the environment. A part of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the disappearance of special kinds of trees and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
is the key trouble while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
parts of them believe that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
serious
phenomenon are worth to consider. In my opinion, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that losing plants and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
are
extremely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
to the earth.
However
, we should solve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
problems at this moment such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
pollution and climate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
.

Admittedly
, more and more species are extinct from the world.
For example
, the recent forest fire in Australia has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroyed
a huge area of the land where millions of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
and trees have
been habituated
there. Although their extinction won’t cause a direct influence on humanity’s survival, it actually leads to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
of the whole ecosystem. Such a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
will contribute to more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
serious
problems of earth like global warming.
In addition
, the decreasing number of species means the survival
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
is increasing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
human find that they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
serious
ecological and environmental difficulties with
Did you mean "fewer"? The noun species is countable.
less
species living with them.

However
, extreme weather and lower quality of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
are more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
serious
in human’s daily life.
For instance
, survey conducted by a Chinese medical organization that the increased population suffering lung cancer has direct relationships with the over high density of PM2.
Moreover
, hurricane, typhoon and sandy storm attack us
frequently
.
Obviously
, uncertain awful weather and dirty
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
are threatening us
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
solve them
first
.

Base on the discussion, the extinction of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
plants and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
is one of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
serious
environment questions
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that threaten
is closed
to us.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
nature disaster and polluted
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
are the most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
serious
issues encountering by our generation.
Thus
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
problems are more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
than losing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
special species.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
18Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
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Amy Chua

IELTS essay Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. v. 10

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
311 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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