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Some people say that the main environmental problem of of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problem. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. v.1

Some people say that the main environmental problem of of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problem. v. 1
Many people claim that these days the significant problem of planet’s nature is losing some kinds of plants and animals. Although, others think that there are more important problems in our life. This essay will discuss the given two points and personal opinion will be provided at the end. Firstly, there are a lot of considerable reasons of decreasing animals’ and plants’ number. One of them is that year by year atmosphere is becoming worse, and because of this problem, a big amount of living creatures has considerable decrease. For example, in every city, there are enough gas factories which spoil the environment. Moreover, on the street it could be seen a large number of different gas cars, and this is one of the main reasons, too. Second reason is that due to fact that animals are being used for different testing for humans’ benefits, year after year majority of animals suffer from the torment of experiments. For instance, people use them for testing new types of cosmetics to find out allergic signs or other bad irritations. In addition, because of all these testing over 200 000 animals suffer, which could lead to dying and declining of their quantity. From the opinions of some people, nowadays there are other serious problems than provided before. Not only animals and plants have important extinction problems, but citizens also have enough difficulties such as decreasing of the people’s population year by year. Humanity has a lot of diseases from the same gas machines and works. As an example, lung cancer, heart disease, death, and other chronic diseases. All in all, it could be seen that there are a lot of environmental problems which can lead to losing particular types of plants and animals. Nevertheless, people believe that there are other considerable problems of humanity. I argue with the group of people who care about decreasing a number of creatures, and believe that people would stop spoiling the environment.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
claim that these days the significant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
of planet’s nature is losing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
kinds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plants
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
.
“Although” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Although
, others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that there are more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
in our life.

This essay will discuss the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
two points and personal opinion will
be provided
at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
.

Firstly
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
considerable reasons of decreasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals’
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plants’
number. One of them is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
atmosphere is becoming worse, and
because of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
, a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
amount of living creatures has considerable decrease.
For example
, in every city, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
gas factories which spoil the environment.
Moreover
, on the street it could be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
gas cars, and this is one of the main reasons, too.

Second reason is that due to fact that
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animals
are being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
testing for humans’ benefits,
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year
after
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
suffer from the torment of experiments.
For instance
,
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people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
them for testing new types of cosmetics to find out allergic signs or
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other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
irritations.

In addition
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of all these testing over 200 000
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animals
suffer, which could lead to dying and declining of their quantity.

From the opinions of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, nowadays there are
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other
serious
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problems
than provided
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before
. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
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animals
and
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plants
have
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important
extinction
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problems
,
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but
citizens
also
have
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enough
difficulties such as decreasing of the
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people’s
population
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year
by
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year
. Humanity has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
diseases from the same gas machines and works. As an example, lung cancer, heart disease, death, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
chronic diseases.

All in all, it could be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
which can lead to losing particular types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plants
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
.
Nevertheless
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
considerable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
of humanity. I argue with the group of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who care about decreasing a number of creatures, and believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
spoiling the environment.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
35Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
One language sets you in a corridor for life. Two languages open every door along the way.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay Some people say that the main environmental problem of of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problem. v. 1

Essay
  American English
7 paragraphs
325 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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