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Some people say that the main enviromental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals Others say that there are more important environmental problems Discuss both these views and give your own opinion v.2

Some people say that the main enviromental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals Others say that there are more important environmental problems 2
The loss of particular species of plants and animals has been a major concern in recent years. While some people might say that it is the main environmental problem of our time, others would argue that there are more important problems that need our attention. Personally, I appreciate both these views as I believe they are all equally important issues and need to be addressed as much as possible. First of all, I understand why the disappearance of plants and animals has been considered a major issue. Due to excessive hunting as well as the lack of preservation and conservation system, the ecosystem has been negatively affected. Some plants are unable to grow and reproduce, animals are becoming extinct, all of which can result in diversity imbalance of the nature. Illegal hunting for ivory, for instance, has been addressed publicly for many years but have not yet to be banned completely. The recent news regarding excessive hunting for ivory that had led to the extinction of an elephant species has raised an alarming concern over the protection systems of governments towards rare plants and animals. Second, I also agree that environmental problems do not only focus on issues relating to the loss of plants and animals. Critical problems like global warming and greenhouse gas effect has caused a detrimental effect on our health and had a negative impact on our living conditions and well-beings. As a result of increasing gas emissions, the daily temperature has risen significantly over the years. It is therefore predicted that in twenty years' time, we might not be able to save the Earth as it has been heavily damaged by pollutions and unsustainable consumption. All in all, even though it is true that the decline in some plants and animal species should be addressed more, we should also give our attention to other important issues as well, especially those that may have direct impact on our lives.
The loss of particular species of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plants
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
has been a major concern in recent years. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
might say that it is the main environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
of our time, others would argue that there are more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
that need our attention.
Personally
, I appreciate both these views as I believe they are all
equally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
and need to
be addressed
as much as possible.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, I understand why the disappearance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plants
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
has
been considered
a major
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issue
. Due to excessive hunting
as well
as the lack of preservation and conservation system, the ecosystem has been
negatively
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plants
are unable to grow and reproduce,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
are becoming extinct, all of which can result in diversity imbalance of the nature. Illegal hunting for ivory,
for instance
, has
been addressed
publicly
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
have not
yet
to
be banned
completely. The recent news regarding excessive hunting for ivory that had led to the extinction of an elephant species has raised an alarming concern over the protection systems of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
towards rare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plants
and animals.

Second, I
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
focus on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
relating to the loss of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plants
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
. Critical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
like global warming and greenhouse gas effect has caused a detrimental effect on our health and had a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact on our living conditions and well-beings.
As a result
of increasing gas emissions, the daily temperature has risen
significantly
over the years. It is
therefore
predicted that in twenty
Possible spelling mistake found.
years&
#039; time, we might not be able to save the Earth as it has been
heavily
damaged by pollutions and unsustainable consumption.

All in all,
even though
it is true that the decline in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plants
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
species should
be addressed
more, we should
also
give our attention to other
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
as well
,
especially
those that may have direct impact on our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
14Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
19Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people say that the main enviromental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals Others say that there are more important environmental problems 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
322 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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