Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some people say that music is a good way of ringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? v.2

Some people say that music is a good way of ringing people of different cultures and ages together. with this opinion? v. 2
It is very often said that music inspires people around the world. Some people think that music unites people regardless their culture and age group. I completely agree that music makes union between nations. Firstly, a famous music around our planet has no language so it might supplant barriers between people and enjoy all classes of people. In other words, in general, music thrive inside societies when it towards the soul of public because as a people have the same feeling and music touch that thing. Furthermore, listening to music encourage different person to meet together and understand each other so music might unite states. Many studies have shown the fascinating of music has a massive effect on reducing problem between people as well as nations. As a result, music has positive impact on listeners and might help in alleviating a challenge that faces a human. Another reason to consider is music has glamour effect on integration of employees or students. Moreover, when employees listen to music in their workplace, this might encourage motivation to compete and improve productivity. In addition, listening to music in schools instill passion between student to work within groups and produce creative ideas. For instance, a study has been conducted in Germany showed that 70% of voters agree that music makes related communities. As consequently, music nurtures a creativity and enthusiasm in societies. to sum up, in spite of other factors in grouping people, music plays a significant role in solving problems and gathering people to each other.
It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
said that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
inspires
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
around the world.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
unites
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
regardless their culture and age group. I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
union between nations.

Firstly
, a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
around our planet has no language
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
supplant barriers between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and enjoy all classes of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words,
in general
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
thrive inside societies when it towards the soul of public
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have the same feeling and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
touch that thing.
Furthermore
, listening to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
encourage
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
person to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
together and understand each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
unite states.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
studies have shown the fascinating of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
has a massive effect on reducing problem between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
as well
as nations.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impact on listeners and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in alleviating a challenge that faces a human.

Another reason to consider is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
has glamour effect on integration of employees or students.
Moreover
, when employees listen to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
in their workplace, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
encourage motivation to compete and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
productivity.
In addition
, listening to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
in schools instill passion between student to work within groups and produce creative
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
.
For instance
, a study has
been conducted
in Germany
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
that 70% of voters
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
related communities. As
consequently
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
nurtures a creativity and enthusiasm in societies.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
to
sum up,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
in spite of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
factors in grouping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
plays a significant role in solving problems and gathering
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
33Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people say that music is a good way of ringing people of different cultures and ages together. with this opinion? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
253 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts