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Some people say that music is a good way of brining people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? Give reasons for your answers and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. v.1

Some people say that music is a good way of brining people of different cultures and ages together. with this opinion? v. 1
There is a view in several people that music is one of the important parts to remove differences of cultures and ages, and to bring them together. I completely agree with this thought. This essay will cover few positive aspects which will explain the same in detail. To begin with, it can not be denied that the music is an extra ordinary thing which can be enjoyed without being worried about the lyrics of a song. In other words, people used follow the different culture pattens such as dance steps and cloth sense while enjoying the song. Even if it is from the different social groups and do not understand what is being said in the song. For example, a huge number of non-gujarati people used to dance on Gujarati language songs known as Garbas and used to wear gujarati clothes in Navratri festival. Eventhough they do not understand the language properly, they use to do proper step on the basis of music. Thus, music brings different cultured group together on the same dance floor. Another point is that music removes the gap between different age group. Furthermore, though many people from yonger age group do not like lyrics from the old song, they used to praise the music from it. Moreover, at the opposite situationt, most of elderly people do not like the lyrics from new generation however they like the beats of music instead. Hence, the music industry has bought a new level of music which is a remix song, a combination of old and new music song. This encourage different age group people to listen the same song together with the same interest. In conclusion, music is a key solution to remove different boundries of age groups and cultures.
There is a view in several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
is one of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
parts to remove differences of cultures and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ages
, and to bring them together. I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
. This essay will cover few
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
aspects which will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
the same in detail.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, it can not
be denied
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
is an
This word is normally spelled as one.
extra ordinary
thing which can
be enjoyed
without
being worried
about the lyrics of a song.
In other words
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
follow the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
culture
Possible spelling mistake found.
pattens
such as dance steps and cloth sense while enjoying the song. Even if it is from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
groups
and do not understand what is
being said
in the song.
For example
, a huge number of
Possible spelling mistake found.
non-gujarati
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to dance on Gujarati language songs known as
Possible spelling mistake found.
Garbas
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to wear
Possible spelling mistake found.
gujarati
clothes in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Navratri
festival.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Eventhough
they do not understand the language
properly
, they
Make sure that 'use to' is correct. For habitual actions in the past or to mean 'accustomed to', use "used to".
use to
do proper step on the basis of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
.
Thus
,
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music
brings
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
cultured
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
together on the same dance floor.

Another point is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
removes the gap between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
.
Furthermore
, though
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from
Possible spelling mistake found.
yonger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
do not like lyrics from the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
song, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to praise the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
from it.
Moreover
, at the opposite
Possible spelling mistake found.
situationt
, most of elderly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not like the lyrics from new generation
however
they like the beats of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
instead
.
Hence
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
industry has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
a new level of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
which is a remix song, a combination of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
and new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
song.
The verb 'encourage' is plural. Did you mean: "This encourages"? Did you use a verb instead of a noun?
This encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to listen the same song together with the same interest.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
is a key solution to remove
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
Possible spelling mistake found.
boundries
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
groups
and cultures.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
34Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12Mistakes
Learning is a treasure that will follow its owner everywhere.
Chinese Proverb

IELTS essay Some people say that music is a good way of brining people of different cultures and ages together. with this opinion? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
292 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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