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Some people say that music is a good way of brining people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? Give reasons for your answers and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. v.1

Some people say that music is a good way of brining people of different cultures and ages together. with this opinion? v. 1
There is a view in several people that music is one of the important parts to remove differences of cultures and ages, and to bring them together. I completely agree with this thought. This essay will cover few positive aspects which will explain the same in detail. To begin with, it can not be denied that the music is an extra ordinary thing which can be enjoyed without being worried about the lyrics of a song. In other words, people used follow the different culture pattens such as dance steps and cloth sense while enjoying the song. Even if it is from the different social groups and do not understand what is being said in the song. For example, a huge number of non-gujarati people used to dance on Gujarati language songs known as Garbas and used to wear gujarati clothes in Navratri festival. Eventhough they do not understand the language properly, they use to do proper step on the basis of music. Thus, music brings different cultured group together on the same dance floor. Another point is that music removes the gap between different age group. Furthermore, though many people from yonger age group do not like lyrics from the old song, they used to praise the music from it. Moreover, at the opposite situationt, most of elderly people do not like the lyrics from new generation however they like the beats of music instead. Hence, the music industry has bought a new level of music which is a remix song, a combination of old and new music song. This encourage different age group people to listen the same song together with the same interest. In conclusion, music is a key solution to remove different boundries of age groups and cultures.
There is a view in several
people
that
music
is one of the
important
parts to remove differences of cultures and
ages
, and to bring them together. I completely
agree
with this
thought
. This essay will cover few
positive
aspects which will
explain
the same in detail.

To
begin
with, it can not
be denied
that the
music
is an
extra ordinary
thing which can
be enjoyed
without
being worried
about the lyrics of a song.
In other words
,
people
used
follow the
different
culture
pattens
such as dance steps and cloth sense while enjoying the song. Even if it is from the
different
social
groups
and do not understand what is
being said
in the song.
For example
, a huge number of
non-gujarati
people
used
to dance on Gujarati language songs known as
Garbas
and
used
to wear
gujarati
clothes in
Navratri
festival.
Eventhough
they do not understand the language
properly
, they
use to
do proper step on the basis of
music
.
Thus
,
music
brings
different
cultured
group
together on the same dance floor.

Another point is that
music
removes the gap between
different
age
group
.
Furthermore
, though
many
people
from
yonger
age
group
do not like lyrics from the
old
song, they
used
to praise the
music
from it.
Moreover
, at the opposite
situationt
, most of elderly
people
do not like the lyrics from new generation
however
they like the beats of
music
instead
.
Hence
, the
music
industry has
bought
a new level of
music
which is a remix song, a combination of
old
and new
music
song.
This encourage
different
age
group
people
to listen the same song together with the same interest.

In conclusion
,
music
is a key solution to remove
different
boundries
of
age
groups
and cultures.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
34Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people say that music is a good way of brining people of different cultures and ages together. with this opinion? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
292 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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