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Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? v. 162 v.70

Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. with this opinion? v. 162 v. 70
Music is the soul of life. People proclaim that soul is a good way of connecting people of different values and even ages I totally concur with the view that music goes beyond boundaries to bind the society at various levels. This essay will explain as to why tune helps build strong bonds between various multicultural as well as between people of varied ages. To embark upon, music can certainly bring the people together who have a distinct culture. This can be generally seen in case of popular songs; when a particular album becomes successful, it automatically makes a place in everyone’s heart no matter to which region the audience belong. For example, songs by a famous Punjabi singer, Gurdas Maan, are admired by national and international audience regardless of culture. Moreover, playing western music at parties and dancing on it together, including children, youngsters and even elders can be usually observed because people enjoy the company from diverse cultures and age groups. In other words, all the differences between younger and older individuals are certain to disappear when they listen to the same music. Nevertheless, certain hindrances are inevitable while listening to melodies from various regions. As if a person is not familiar with particular language and singing style, he would not take interest in listening to such records. For instance, if not in all cases, mostly it has been noticed that old people tend to play traditional and classical music only rather than rock or pop, which is preferred by youth. In addition, frictions can be a consequence of objectionable and unacceptable lyrics, which are targeted towards a particular section of society. To sum up, Music can influence the world to come under one roof. Music can end of a lot of animosity between people of different faiths as music can play the role of an antidote in today’s world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Music
is the soul of life.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
proclaim that soul is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
way of connecting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
values and even ages I
totally
concur with the view that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
goes beyond boundaries to bind the society at various levels. This essay will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
as to why tune
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
build strong bonds between various multicultural
as well
as between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of varied ages.

To embark upon,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
can
certainly
bring the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
together who have a distinct culture. This can be
generally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in case of popular songs; when a particular album becomes successful, it
automatically
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
a place in everyone’s heart no matter to which region the audience belong.
For example
, songs by a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
Punjabi singer,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Gurdas
Possible spelling mistake found.
Maan
,
are admired
by national and international audience regardless of culture.
Moreover
, playing western
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
at parties and dancing on it together, including children, youngsters and even elders can be
usually
observed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
enjoy the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
from diverse cultures and age groups.
In other words
, all the differences between younger and older individuals are certain to disappear when they listen to the same music.

Nevertheless
, certain hindrances are inevitable while listening to melodies from various regions. As if a person is not familiar with particular language and singing style, he would not take interest in listening to such records.
For instance
, if not in all cases,
mostly
it has
been noticed
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend to play traditional and classical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
rather
than rock or pop, which
is preferred
by youth.
In addition
, frictions can be a consequence of objectionable and unacceptable lyrics, which
are targeted
towards a particular section of society.

To sum up,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Music
can influence the world to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
under one roof.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Music
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
animosity between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
faiths as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
can play the role of an antidote in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
world
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. with this opinion? v. 162 v. 70

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
311 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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