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Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion. v. 149 v.58

Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. with this opinion. v. 149 v. 58
Singing has always been a key distinguisher of culture, but many believe that it can also bridge cultural gaps and differences in age. Though I think some people overstate the impact of tune levelling the differences between generations, I strongly believe that it brings people of different cultures together by expressing universal sentiments. On the one hand, there are some types of rap that tear us apart, let alone bring people closer together. People at different ages, often have different tastes of music. It is difficult to bring older people closer to young people with some modern songs that appeals to old people to be a meaningless variety of ‘boy meets girl’. For instance, in the modern era, youngsters usually are interested in some particular types of singing such as pop, hip-hop, rap, or rock as well as the celebrities such as Taylor Swift, Ed Sheeran or Justin Beiber. Otherwise, the older generations share their interest in any kinds of song like country, classic, bolero as well as some idols such as the Beatles, Celine Dion, Michael Jackson. Moreover, piece with offensive words of age, race or sexual discriminations can create cultural, ethnic and political conflicts. In contrast, although melody does little to alleviate generational barriers, it does help cultures relate through universal, human perspectives. What I mean by this is that even though people may not understand another culture they can still understand the messages of the piece. One great example of this is the tune of Bob Marley. Bob Marley is from a small Caribbean country called Jamaica, a country whose culture has become influential around the world. This is because he expressed universal feelings of love, empathy, and positivity against the backdrop of a nation experiencing political and economic upheaval. His resilience against this pulses through his infectious melody and has translated across cultural divides. An Asian person, who might not have any first hand experience with different races or cultures, can still identify with Bob Marley and enjoy his tune. This connection based entirely on soul brings together people of disparate cultures through an emotional and intellectual bonding on common issues. In conclusion, even though it seems clear that there is a huge gap between age groups and people will not fully understand other cultures, it is indisputable that singing can send to people some meaningful messages in life. I am of the opinion that singing can unify every civilization or every Freemasonry with each other. We should preserve our traditional musical cultures so that we can share them to international people in the world.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Singing
has always been a key
Possible spelling mistake found.
distinguisher
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
believe that it can
also
bridge cultural gaps and differences in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
. Though I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
overstate the impact of tune levelling the differences between generations, I
strongly
believe that it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brings
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
together by expressing universal sentiments.

On the one hand, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
types of rap that tear us apart,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
alone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
closer together.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ages
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
tastes of music. It is difficult to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bring
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
closer to young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
modern songs that appeals to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to be a meaningless variety of ‘boy meets girl’.
For instance
, in the modern era, youngsters
usually
are interested
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
particular types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
singing
such as pop, hip-hop, rap, or rock
as well
as the celebrities such as Taylor Swift, Ed Sheeran or Justin
Possible spelling mistake found.
Beiber
.
Otherwise
, the older generations share their interest in any kinds of song like country, classic, bolero
as well
as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
idols such as the Beatles, Celine Dion, Michael Jackson.
Moreover
, piece with offensive words of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
, race or sexual discriminations can create cultural, ethnic and political conflicts.

In contrast
, although melody does
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
to alleviate generational barriers, it does
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
relate through universal, human perspectives. What I mean by this is that
even though
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may not understand another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
they can
still
understand the messages of the piece. One great example of this is the tune of Bob Marley. Bob Marley is from a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
Caribbean country called Jamaica, a country whose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
has become influential around the world. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
he expressed universal feelings of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
, empathy, and positivity against the backdrop of a nation experiencing political and economic upheaval. His resilience against
Did you mean "these"?
this
pulses through his infectious melody and has translated across cultural divides. An Asian person, who might not have any
'first hand' seems to be a compound adjective in front of a noun. Use a hyphen: "first-hand".
first hand
experience with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
races or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
, can
still
identify with Bob Marley and enjoy his tune. This connection based
entirely
on soul
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brings
together
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of disparate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
through an emotional and intellectual bonding on common issues.

In conclusion
,
even though
it seems
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that there is a huge gap between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
groups and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will not
fully
understand other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
, it is indisputable that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
singing
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
meaningful messages in life. I am of the opinion that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
singing
can unify every civilization or every Freemasonry with each other. We should preserve our traditional musical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that we can share them to international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the world.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. with this opinion. v. 149 v. 58

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
429 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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