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Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? v. 147 v.56

Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. with this opinion? v. 147 v. 56
Many believe that music is an effective means of strengthening the bond between people from different cultural backgrounds and generations. From my perspective, I wholeheartedly agree with this point of view. To begin with, music has an exceptional ability to evoke a wide range of feelings of the listeners such as sadness, anger, and happiness regardless of their country of origin. Although the lyrics of a song might indeed be incomprehensible due to the language barrier, its melody is linguistically neutral. To feel the melody of a song, the listener does not need to fully understand the language in which the song is written. For example, a Vietnamese may fall in love with a Korean pop song or a Japanese may shed tears while listening to a melancholic piece of music written by an American musician. This is clear evidence that shows music is a universal language that transcends all cultural boundaries. Also, music is a common ground for people to understand each other better irrespective of their age. Nowadays, it is not surprising to see young individuals were fond of the nostalgic feel of a song released years ago, and likewise, modern music genres such as hip-hop, rap, and techno are also becoming increasingly popular amongst older people. For instance, it is commonplace to see a family of different generations gathered together in a karaoke room, singing and dancing to the same song with much joy. In conclusion, music is an important part of people’s lives and it can also act as a powerful means of uniting people of different cultures and ages
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
is an effective means of strengthening the bond between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
cultural backgrounds and generations. From my perspective, I
wholeheartedly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this point of view.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
has an exceptional ability to evoke a wide range of feelings of the listeners such as sadness, anger, and happiness regardless of their country of origin. Although the lyrics of a song might
indeed
be incomprehensible due to the language barrier, its melody is
linguistically
neutral. To feel the melody of a song, the listener does not need to
fully
understand the language in which the song
is written
.
For example
, a Vietnamese may fall in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
with a Korean pop song or a Japanese may shed tears while listening to a melancholic piece of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
written by an American musician. This is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
evidence that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
is a universal language that transcends all cultural boundaries.

Also
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
is a common ground for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to understand each other better irrespective of their age. Nowadays, it is not surprising to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
young individuals were fond of the nostalgic feel of a song released years ago, and
likewise
, modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
genres such as hip-hop, rap, and techno are
also
becoming
increasingly
popular amongst older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
For instance
, it is commonplace to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
a family of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
generations gathered together in a karaoke room, singing and dancing to the same song with much joy.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
is an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
part of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
and it can
also
act as a powerful means of uniting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
cultures and ages
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. with this opinion? v. 147 v. 56

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
263 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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