Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? v.48

Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. with this opinion? v. 48
There are a variety of songs out there which interest to people of all the age groups and places. However, I partially disagree with the statement because youngsters have entirely different taste in music. This essay will discuss both the sides with the relevant ideas and supporting examples. There is no doubt that around the world listening to the rap has become a way to ease out the stress and frustration, despite the lyrics are in a foreign language. It is evident that it doesn’t concern people where the singing is originated from. Like, in India, people are inclined to listen to English songs, moreover, it is played in family functions and other occasions. Therefore, brings the sense of cultural value amongst the non natives. On the other hand, due to the generation gap, the majority of the teenagers and adults are tempted to loud electronic sounds which elderly find repulsive to their ears. Senior citizens find classical and instrumental piece relatively soothing. For instance, a survey conducted in the UK showed that 96% of the people above 40 enjoy slow tracks. As a result, young people do not like to be the part of the older people’s parties. In a nutshell, the melodies are always rejuvenating to everyone, it doesn’t matter where it came from, but it draws the line where certain age group has to choose the kind of melody they find fascinating.
There are a variety of songs out there which interest to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of all the age groups and places.
However
, I
partially
disagree with the statement
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
youngsters have
entirely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
taste in music. This essay will discuss both the sides with the relevant
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
and supporting examples.

There is no doubt that around the world listening to the rap has become a way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
out the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
and frustration, despite the lyrics are in a foreign language. It is evident that it doesn’t concern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
where the singing
is originated
from. Like, in India,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are inclined
to listen to English songs,
moreover
, it
is played
in family functions and other occasions.
Therefore
, brings the sense of cultural value amongst the
This expression is normally spelled as one or with hyphen.
non natives
.

On the other hand
, due to the generation gap, the majority of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
and adults
are tempted
to loud electronic sounds which elderly find repulsive to their ears. Senior citizens find classical and instrumental piece
relatively
soothing.
For instance
, a survey conducted in the UK
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
that 96% of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
above 40 enjoy slow
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tracks
.
As a result
, young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not like to be the part of the older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
parties.

In a nutshell, the melodies are always rejuvenating to everyone, it doesn’t matter where it came from,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it draws the line where certain age group
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
choose the kind of melody they find fascinating.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
6Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. with this opinion? v. 48

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
235 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts