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Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. with this opinion?

Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. with this opinion?

essayopinionMusicCultural ExchangeSocial Cohesion
Writing Structure
Music is a tool that connects people regardless of their culture or age. People of different ages in different countries may like the same music. It is difficult and sometimes impossible to categorize it by age. Sometimes people living abroad meet and celebrate with locals in that country to promote their culture and music, and in this way introduce music to other people. Also in our daily life, we hear a lot of music that some people like this but some people don’t like. Sometimes it might related people’s age. On the one hand i agree with this opinion. People like some music that doesn’t matter the age. Sometimes we can’t understand but we feel love, we feel same emotion Also both of categories like. For instance the weddings music. Most of people like and dance with this music. On the other hand i disagree this. Because, we see some musics that we love but they dont like. Actually This situation happen in modern music. For instance, Aygun Kazımova’s musics. She have a lot of music. Her old music is loved. But adults don’t like her modern musics. On social media, we see that music from different countries is trending. This can be the music of Azerbaijan or other countries. People try to promote and love their music culture on social media. And as a result, people gather around a music. They try to create different versions of this music and get the most views. Sometimes there is no age difference in this trend. Both adults and children join. İn conclusion, music is a good way for people to express their feelings regardless of their age.
Introduction
Thesis Statement

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Body Paragraph 1
Topic Sentence

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Unclassified Sentences

Body Paragraph 2
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Conclusion
Restatement of Thesis

Overall Band Score: 5.5
Task Achievement
5.5
The essay addresses the task but does not fully develop the argument. Some points are underexplained, and the conclusion is weak.
Lexical Resource
5
The vocabulary used is somewhat limited and repetitive. There are instances of incorrect word forms and collocations.
Coherence & Cohesion
5.5
The essay presents a clear argument but lacks logical flow and organization. Some ideas are not well connected, leading to confusion.
Grammatical Range
5
There are several grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement and incorrect tense usage. The sentence structures are mostly simple.

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