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Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? v.41

In the contemporary Era, The Sounds are treated as Amazing healing therapy to recover the patients by near the future. Nevertheless, A number of individuals explains that Music is a Wonderful method to collaborate people from various cultural diversity and ages. In the undermentioned consignment, I will elaborate and emphasize my views based on provided argument. One of the Major Positive point of hearing to the music is inclination of communication proficients of other languages apart from the Native language among the speakers. For Instance, The person is following the Practices of listening to music, absolutely, it is helping the them to improve their fluency of particular language as well as indirectly provide more influence on developing their confidence. consequently, one who is taking audio lessons shall benifit good accuracy while watching presentation or learning contents without any intermittents whereas its pre-recorded. Besides, The Rythm of Music, Vibrations of the instruments helps with several good possibities while recognizing the video clips behaviour which is expressed by different languages speakers. Furthermore, The Waves produced by the instruments, absolutely, remains same for all mode of situations in movies of non-speaking language as well. As a result, The loss of interest wont be a consequence at any case whereas watching the movies with proper oscillations in the music prevent the enthusiasm and happiness until the end of the movie. Despite these positive benifits, Most of the people from different ages are not able to survive without the hearing petite piece of music in their daily life owing to the fact that it, ultimately, helps them to retain back from troublesome situation to normal state within short span of time. On the other hand, Everyone ought to same choice of interest rather than drawing or dancing. In the nutshell, The Extra-ordinary beneficial of Musical impacts Outweigh the avoidable adverse effect among the people. Therefore, One should try to utilize the Art of Music with a number of limitations not for the prolonged duration. Evidently, It can be showed that this, definitely, inculcate more knowledge and skills to engage with other people.
In the contemporary Era, The Sounds
are treated
as Amazing healing therapy to recover the patients by near the future.
Nevertheless
, A number of individuals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explains
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Music
is a Wonderful method to collaborate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from various cultural diversity and ages. In the undermentioned consignment, I will elaborate and emphasize my views based on provided argument.

One of the Major
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Positive
point of hearing to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
is inclination of communication proficients of other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
apart from the Native
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
among the speakers.
For Instance
, The person is following the Practices of listening to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
,
absolutely
, it is helping
Possible typo. Did you mean “the” or “them”?
the them
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their fluency of particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
as well
as
indirectly
provide more influence on developing their confidence.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
consequently
, one who is taking audio lessons shall
Possible spelling mistake found.
benifit
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
accuracy while watching presentation or learning contents without any
Possible spelling mistake found.
intermittents
whereas
Did you mean “it’s” (short for ‘it is’) instead of ‘its’ (possessive pronoun)?
its
pre-recorded.

Besides
, The
Possible spelling mistake found.
Rythm
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Music
, Vibrations of the instruments
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
with several
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
Possible spelling mistake found.
possibities
while recognizing the video
An apostrophe may be missing.
clips
Possible spelling mistake. ‘behaviour’ is British English.
behaviour
which
is expressed
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
speakers.
Furthermore
, The Waves produced by the instruments,
absolutely
, remains same for all mode of situations in movies of non-speaking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
as well
.
As a result
, The loss of interest
Please make sure you mean ‘wont’ (a habit), not “won’t”/“won’t” (short for ‘will not’)?
wont
be a
The usual preposition to use after “consequence” is not “at”. Did you mean “consequence of”, “consequence for”, or “consequence on”?
consequence at
any
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph.
case


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
whereas
watching the movies with proper oscillations in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
the enthusiasm and happiness until the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the movie.

Despite these
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
Possible spelling mistake found.
benifits
, Most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
ages are not able to survive without the hearing petite piece of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
in their daily life owing to the fact that it,
ultimately
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them to retain back from troublesome situation to normal state within short span of time.
On the other hand
, Everyone ought to same choice of interest
rather
than drawing or dancing.

In the nutshell, The Extra-ordinary beneficial of Musical impacts Outweigh the avoidable adverse effect among the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Therefore
, One should try to utilize the Art of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Music
with a number of limitations not for the prolonged duration.
Evidently
, It can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
that this, definitely, inculcate more knowledge and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
to engage with other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
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I am always sorry when any language is lost, because languages are the pedigrees of nations.
Samuel Johnson

IELTS essay Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. with this opinion?

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
347 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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