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Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? v.4

Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. with this opinion? v. 4
In the era of fast pace life, some people think music is the best way to unite people from various cultures an ages. I agree with a notion and shall discuss the importance of music in a further paragraph. To begin with, music is the soul of life. Music is beyond the words and it touches the heart of every human on earth. Moreover, Our earth is full of cultural diversity and all cultures have one thing in common, it is music. Nowadays, because of the internet and technology, people can listen and enjoy music from different part of the world then they get knowledge about other culture too. The music describes more in fewer words and its about melody which brings peace to human heart. So with the help of music, we can bring people of various culture together. For example, in India when the national anthem plays all people from different cultures respect it. when it comes to age, music also related to the age factor. All people from different age love listen to a song. The youth of today use music as a stress reliever and music also gives some relief to elderly people. In addition, music composed by Bob Marley liked by all aged people and get global popularity. Music industry becomes a huge industry and all people are working together who comes from a different culture. To sum up, there is no doubt that music can play a significant role to unite people of various culture and different ages.
In the era of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
pace life,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
is the best way to unite
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ages
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with a notion and shall discuss the importance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
in a
further
paragraph.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
is the soul of life.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Music
is beyond the words and it touches the heart of every human on earth.
Moreover
, Our earth is full of cultural diversity and all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
have one thing in common, it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
. Nowadays,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the internet and technology,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can listen and enjoy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
part of the world then they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
knowledge about other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
too. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
describes
more in fewer words and its about melody which brings peace to human heart.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
, we can bring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
together.
For example
, in India when the national anthem plays all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
respect it.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
when
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
also
related to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
factor. All
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
listen to a song. The youth of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
as a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
reliever and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
also
gives
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
relief to elderly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
composed by Bob Marley liked by all aged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
global popularity.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Music
industry becomes a huge industry and all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are working together who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
from a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
culture.

To sum up, there is no doubt that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
can play a significant role to unite
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ages
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
40Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
Language is the road map of a culture. It tells you where its people come from and where they are going.
Rita Mae Brown

IELTS essay Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. with this opinion? v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
254 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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