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Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? v.32

Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. with this opinion? v. 32
It is thought by some that a good way of bringing people whose cultures and ages are different is music. In my opinion, I believe that music can bring people with their different cultures together, whereas I think music is unable to render people from different generations closer. On the one hand, one reason why I believe music is likely to bring people coming from different cultures together is that music can break down cultural barriers. Normally, performing a song needs not only a singer, but also people having the ability to play some musical instruments in order to make the song great. This indicates that performing a song ordinarily has nothing to do with what cultures people originate from because it depends on people’s musical skills. As a result, people who want to play a song with others do not need to consider how to reconcile themselves to people coming from other cultures and feel free to interact with others. For example, in 2012 in Hanoi, there was a group of people having various nationalities. Although they speak different languages, they still cooperate with others in playing symphonies in a street. Nevertheless, there is one reason why I think that music does not make older and younger people closer. Firstly, the musical tastes of older generations differ considerably from those of younger ones. Musical tastes are based on living conditions and widely-held perceptions, while older and younger generations normally do not have the same living conditions and perceptions. As a consequence, older people can have no interest in songs younger people relish, and vice versa. In conclusion, I think music is able to bring people originating from other cultures together, whereas I believe music does not render older and younger people closer.
It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
that a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
way of bringing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
whose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
and ages are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
. In my opinion, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
can bring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
together, whereas I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
is unable to render
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
generations closer.

On the one hand, one reason why I believe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
is likely to bring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
coming from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
together is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
can break down cultural barriers.
Normally
, performing a song needs not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a singer,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
having the ability to play
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
musical
instruments in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the song great. This indicates that performing a song
ordinarily
has nothing to do with what
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
originate from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it depends on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
musical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who want to play a song with others do not need to consider how to reconcile themselves to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
coming from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
and feel free to interact with others.
For example
, in 2012 in Hanoi, there was a group of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
having various nationalities. Although they speak
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
languages, they
still
cooperate with others in playing symphonies in a street.

Nevertheless
, there is one reason why I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
does not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
younger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
closer.
Firstly
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
musical
tastes of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
generations differ
considerably
from those of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
younger
ones.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Musical
tastes
are based
on living conditions and
widely
-held perceptions, while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
younger
generations
normally
do not have the same living conditions and perceptions. As a consequence,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can have no interest in songs
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
younger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
relish, and vice versa.

In conclusion
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
is able to bring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
originating from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
together, whereas I believe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
does not render
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
younger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
closer.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
50Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. with this opinion? v. 32

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
293 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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