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Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? v.30

Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. with this opinion? v. 30
Music has always been a key distinguisher of culture, but many believe that it can also bridge cultural gaps and differences in age. Though I think some people overstate the impact of music levelling the differences between generations, I strongly believe that it brings people of different cultures together by expressing universal sentiments. The main reason that I believe music is not a particularly good unifier in terms of generational disparity is that people tend to enjoy the music from their formative years and disdain whatever is currently relevant. Though there are of course exceptions, most people would recognise the most accurate stereotype of an old person complaining about the music that youths listen to nowadays. For example, in America some of the most popular artists today include Kanye West, Taylor Swift, and Rihanna. These artists differ greatly from past musicians. Kanye is a brash rapper with controversial opinions whose music constantly shifts and redefines genre. Taylor Swift and Rihanna write sugary pop songs that become ubiquitous in cafes and on the radio. Older people prefer what they used to listen to, whether that be intricate melodies and insightful writing of The Beatles or the raw sincerity of old school rap. The differences between the generations are reflected and augmented rather than mediated due to the different personalities and styles of modern music. Although the music does little to alleviate generational barriers, it does help cultures relate through universal, human perspectives. What I mean by this is that even though people may not understand another culture they can still understand the messages of the music. One great example of this is the music of Bob Marley. Bob Marley is from a small Caribbean country called Jamaica, a country whose culture has become influential around the world. This is because he expressed universal feelings of love, empathy, and positivity against the backdrop of a nation experiencing political and economic upheaval. His resilience against this pulses through his infectious music and has translated across cultural divides. An Asian person, who might not have any first hand experience with different races or cultures, can still identify with Bob Marley and enjoy his music. This connection based entirely on music brings together people of disparate cultures through an emotional and intellectual bonding on common issues. In conclusion, although music may actually do more to divide the young and old it definitely uses its universality to bring together different cultures. It is especially important at a time when the world appears to be more divided than ever that we find common ground to build cross-cultural relationships upon.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Music
has always been a key
Possible spelling mistake found.
distinguisher
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
believe that it can
also
bridge cultural gaps and differences in age. Though I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
overstate the impact of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
levelling the differences between generations, I
strongly
believe that it brings
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
together by expressing universal sentiments.

The main reason that I believe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
is not a
particularly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
unifier in terms of generational disparity is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend to enjoy the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
from their formative years and disdain whatever is
currently
relevant. Though there are
of course
exceptions, most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would
Possible spelling mistake. 'recognise' is British English.
recognise
the most accurate stereotype of an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
person complaining about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
that youths listen to nowadays.
For example
, in America
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of the most popular artists
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
include Kanye West, Taylor Swift, and Rihanna. These artists differ
greatly
from past musicians. Kanye is a brash rapper with controversial opinions whose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
constantly
shifts and redefines genre. Taylor Swift and Rihanna write sugary pop songs that become ubiquitous in
'cafes' is an imported foreign expression, which originally has a diacritic. Consider using "cafés"
cafes
and on the radio. Older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer what they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to listen to, whether that be intricate melodies and insightful writing of The Beatles or the raw sincerity of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
school rap. The differences between the generations
are reflected
and augmented
rather
than mediated due to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
personalities and styles of modern music.

Although the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
does
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
to alleviate generational barriers, it does
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
relate through universal, human perspectives. What I mean by this is that
even though
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may not understand another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
they can
still
understand the messages of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
. One great example of this is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
of Bob Marley. Bob Marley is from a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
Caribbean country called Jamaica, a country whose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
has become influential around the world. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
he expressed universal feelings of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
, empathy, and positivity against the backdrop of a nation experiencing political and economic upheaval. His resilience against
Did you mean "these"?
this
pulses through his infectious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
and has translated across cultural divides. An Asian person, who might not have any
'first hand' seems to be a compound adjective in front of a noun. Use a hyphen: "first-hand".
first hand
experience with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
races or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
, can
still
identify with Bob Marley and enjoy his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
. This connection based
entirely
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
brings together
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of disparate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
through an emotional and intellectual bonding on common issues.

In conclusion
, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
may actually do more to divide the young and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
it definitely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
uses
its universality to bring together
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
. It is
especially
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
at a time when the world appears to be more divided than ever that we find common ground to build cross-cultural relationships upon.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
32Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. with this opinion? v. 30

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
432 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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