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Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinions? v.28

Along with a vast development of globalization, listening to foreign music has risen. So, an opinion of advertising various cultures to other nations whatever their age, has become a source of controversy. Personally, no benefits can be seen within this belief. Some people believe that music is expression of soul. Human beings from all walks of life are able to express their emotions by conveying their customs through songs while composing them. Acculturation would absolutely be developed for all age-range groups if ideas get shared with the correct way of depiction even to children. In this case, visual aids which play prominent role will be productive. Having revealed that where the manners were educated by slides of pictures, individuals got a good grasp of them. To be more detailed, music touches the heart, thus, a unique global mindset from a toddler to adult would be formed which enhances the social bonds. However, those who oppose with this viewpoint think that music is a language. Local people are incapable of understanding non-native rhythms, unless learning foreign speeches beside their native interaction. This fact would not be possible for everybody since a baby naturally starts her first speak in their first tongue. If people are to enjoy multinational diversity, governments must provide free English classes for every society in order to facilitate the international discussion. Then, we can expect tradition of strangers is easily transferable through lyrics. Misunderstanding will not only deteriorate conflicts among communities, but also threaten the world-wide trade. To conclude, nothing wrong is seen with noticing people all over the world about their beliefs, table manners, and customs, while, English will be appointed as the mother tongue everywhere. In this circumstances, there would be no concern regarding the age and differences.
Along with a vast development of globalization, listening to foreign
music
has risen.
So
, an opinion of advertising various cultures to other nations whatever their age, has become a source of controversy.
Personally
, no benefits can be
seen
within this belief.

Some
people
believe that
music
is expression of soul. Human beings from all walks of life are able to express their emotions by conveying their customs through songs while composing them. Acculturation would
absolutely
be developed
for all age-range groups if
ideas
get
shared with the correct way of depiction even to children.
In this case
, visual aids which play prominent role will be productive. Having revealed that where the manners
were educated
by slides of pictures, individuals
got
a
good
grasp of them. To be more detailed,
music
touches the heart,
thus
, a unique global mindset from a toddler to adult would
be formed
which enhances the social bonds.

However
, those who oppose with this viewpoint
think
that
music
is a language. Local
people
are incapable of understanding non-native rhythms, unless learning foreign speeches beside their native interaction. This fact would not be possible for everybody since a baby
naturally
starts
her
first
speak in their
first
tongue. If
people
are to enjoy multinational diversity,
governments
must
provide free English classes for every society in order to facilitate the international discussion. Then, we can
expect
tradition of strangers is
easily
transferable through lyrics. Misunderstanding will not
only
deteriorate conflicts among communities,
but
also
threaten the world-wide trade.

To conclude
, nothing
wrong
is
seen
with noticing
people
all over the world about their beliefs, table manners, and customs, while, English will
be appointed
as the mother tongue everywhere. In
this
circumstances, there would be no concern regarding the age and differences.
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If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.
Nelson Mandela

IELTS academic Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
292 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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