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Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? v.12

Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. with this opinion? v. 12
It is claimed that music as a good way can persuade people regardless of differences in age and culture to connect. Although this trend could not be impressive in some respects, for the most part, I am of the opinion that it would be an efficacious and robust approach. To start with, this approach cannot act as a medium to cut the differences between generations and cultures in some instances this is because some music styles make a controversial situation like rap that is a type of music of black people in which words are recited rapidly. This style is not accepted by some communities since most lyrics be written offensively and critically. In addition, people with religious backgrounds mostly against the music because of the conservative character they have. So this approach would not be successful to come people together in such cases. Furthermore, a more effective way of music can elevate connection between people in the world is universal expressing not only cut the rate of stress, but also stimulate their emotions to bring them closer to each other with pleasant rhythm and novel experience. And also it seems people taste is likely to be modified in the long run which people regardless of culture and age-specific listen to various rhythms in music and even receive the message of it. One great example of this is the music of Bob Marley from a small country where culture has become influential around the world. This is because universal expressing feelings of love, empathy and positivity that give to common ground and issues. Besides music events help to build cross-culture communications and stretch out[extend] cultural diversity between people. In conclusion, I would qualify the assertion that music is an effective method to reduce the generational barriers as well as the cultural gaps in the cross-cultural relationships all around the world.
It
is claimed
that
music
as a
good
way can persuade
people
regardless of differences in age and
culture
to connect. Although this trend could not be impressive in
some
respects,
for the most part
, I am of the opinion that it would be an efficacious and robust approach.

To
start
with, this approach cannot act as a medium to
cut
the differences between generations and
cultures
in
some
instances this is
because
some
music
styles
make
a controversial situation like rap
that is
a type of
music
of black
people
in which words
are recited
rapidly
. This style is not
accepted
by
some
communities since most lyrics
be written
offensively
and
critically
.
In addition
,
people
with religious backgrounds
mostly
against the
music
because
of the conservative character they have.
So
this approach would not be successful to
come
people
together in such cases.

Furthermore
, a more effective way of
music
can elevate
connection between
people
in the world is universal expressing not
only
cut
the rate of
stress
,
but
also
stimulate their emotions to bring them closer to each other with pleasant rhythm and novel experience. And
also
it seems
people
taste is likely to
be modified
in the long run which
people
regardless of
culture
and age-specific listen to various rhythms in
music
and even receive the message of it. One great example of this is the
music
of Bob Marley from a
small
country where
culture
has become influential around the world. This is
because
universal expressing feelings of
love
, empathy and positivity that give to common ground and issues.
Besides
music
events
help
to build cross-culture communications and stretch out[extend] cultural diversity between
people
.

In conclusion
, I would qualify the assertion that
music
is an effective method to
reduce
the generational barriers
as well
as the cultural gaps in the cross-cultural relationships all around the world.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
20Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. with this opinion? v. 12

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
310 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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