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some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and age together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion. v.1

some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and age together. with this opinion. v. 1
Music is being updated with the generation. Certain folks argue that it is possible to bring older and a new generation to gather which will be beneficial in many ways. This essay will completely concur with the above thought due to the various advantages of that which is discussed below with explanation and example. On the one side, the numerous benefits of music provide for all ages of people. The prime pros is that when two generation meets, it is easier to make them understand about particular message rather than trying another way. This leads to increase knowledge of youth through communication between generations and also the aged people get a company to spend quality time or share some feelings without hesitation. For example, 70% of village civilian have grandparents who live with them. Thus, they are more mature and patience than suburb citizens. On the other side, it is a hard task to complete because of the maturity differences. Today’s children love to have freedom for everything where as older generation tends to give advice without asking. Hence, juvenile feels restricted and tends to detach themselves from older people. As a result, offsprings disrespect the older folks and this make them misguided. For instance, 80% of the 20th century's offsprings are do not like to have grandparents as they always block their way. In conclusion, as far as i can see, I believe that people should teach the children about having older people is a blessing from a god. So, that since childhood they have a habit of spending time and music with age folks.
Music is
being updated
with the generation. Certain folks argue that it is possible to bring
older
and a new generation to gather which will be beneficial in
many
ways. This essay will completely concur with the above
thought
due to the various advantages of that which
is discussed
below with explanation and example.

On the one side, the numerous benefits of music provide for all ages of
people
. The prime pros is that when two generation meets, it is easier to
make
them understand about particular message
rather
than trying another way. This leads to increase knowledge of youth through communication between generations and
also
the aged
people
get
a
company
to spend quality time or share
some
feelings without hesitation.
For example
, 70% of village civilian have grandparents who
live
with them.
Thus
, they are more mature and patience than suburb citizens.

On the other side, it is a
hard
task to complete
because
of the maturity differences.
Today
’s children
love
to have freedom for everything
where as
older
generation tends to give advice without asking.
Hence
, juvenile feels restricted and tends to detach themselves from
older
people
.
As a result
,
offsprings
disrespect the
older
folks and this
make
them misguided.
For instance
, 80% of the 20th century's
offsprings
are
do
not like to have grandparents as they always block their way.

In conclusion
, as far as
i
can
see
, I believe that
people
should teach the children about having
older
people
is
a blessing from a god.
So
, that since childhood they have a habit of spending time and music with age folks.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and age together. with this opinion. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
266 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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