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some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together to what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience

Some people say music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. with this opinion? v. 7
Music is an art which connects people of different countries and continents together. Every person may not have same taste for music, still it help strangers to communicate. In my opinion, music is a great means to bring people of different cultures and ages together. Music provides us with information of different traditions and customs. Irrespective of age everyone enjoys music. First and foremost, music depicts the culture and tradition of the region. People of different regions are familiar with different kinds of music, but music as a whole acknowledges and brings various cultures together. Individuals start respecting and understanding the rituals and customs of other places through music. For instance, tourists explore places, understand its importance and cultural value through music played in that particular region. Thus, it helps different populations to mingle with each other and respect each others Nations. Furthermore, younger or older everyone loves music. Though they may be difference in the choice of music, they still can connect to one another. Earlier days music used to be slow and melodious, where as now it consists of fast beats. As per my experience, older people tend to initiate talks with younger ones when music starts playing, by reminiscing and telling about their previous experiences and how music has changed in today's time. Hence, music is an best mediun to attain a close relationship between two people of different generations. People who oppose say that, music will not bring people together because they will not be able to understand the music of different regions, as people prefer listening to their own regional music only. Nevertheless, a lot number of people nowadays are interested in variety of musics other than the original ones. Therefore, increase in diversity and widespread of all types of music around the globe is helping everyone to connect with each other. In conclusion, music gives knowledge of different cultures and traditions allowing people to respect every individual. Age differences are nullified and people of different age groups are brought together due to music. Increase in globalisation and representation of each country through music have broke the walls of differentiation and improved the relationships among the countries.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Music
is an art which connects
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people
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
countries and continents together. Every person may not have same taste for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
,
still
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
strangers to communicate. In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
is a great means to bring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ages
together.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Music
provides us with information of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
traditions and customs. Irrespective of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
everyone enjoys music.

First
and foremost,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
depicts the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
and tradition of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
region
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
regions
are familiar with
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different
kinds of
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music
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
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music
as a whole acknowledges and brings various
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cultures
together. Individuals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
respecting and understanding the rituals and customs of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
places through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
.
For instance
, tourists explore places, understand its importance and cultural value through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
played in that particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
region
.
Thus
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
populations to mingle with each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
and respect each others Nations.

Furthermore
, younger or older everyone
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loves
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
. Though they may be difference in the choice of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
, they
still
can connect to one another. Earlier
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "days'" or "day's"?
days
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to be slow and melodious,
Did you mean "whereas"?
where as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
it consists of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
beats. As per my experience, older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend to initiate talks with younger ones when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
starts
playing, by reminiscing and telling about their previous experiences and how
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music
has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's time.
Hence
,
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music
is
Use "the" with the superlative.
an
best
Possible spelling mistake found.
mediun
to attain a close relationship between two
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people
of
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different
generations.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
who oppose say that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
will not bring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
together
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they will not be able to understand the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
regions
, as
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people
prefer listening to their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
regional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
.
Nevertheless
,
If you mean a great quantity, use "a lot of number"?
a lot number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
nowadays
are interested
in variety of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
musics
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
than the original ones.
Therefore
, increase in diversity and widespread of all types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
around the globe is helping everyone to connect with each other.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
gives knowledge of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
and traditions allowing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to respect every individual.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Age
differences
are nullified
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
groups
are brought
together due to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
. Increase in
Possible spelling mistake. 'globalisation' is British English.
globalisation
and representation of each country through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
have broke the walls of differentiation and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
the relationships among the countries.
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IELTS essay some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together with this opinion give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
362 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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