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Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some people say music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. with this opinion? v. 3
It is always a debatable issue that, whether music is an effective way to bring people from different backgrounds and age groups together. I completely agree that it is a good way of uniting different kinds of people. Music is a medium to connect with people internationally. Some types of music have an international fan following. For example, songs from the famous boy band One Direction have a demand all over the world. Even though their songs are in the English language, their songs are more famous in countries where English is not the first language. Also, the events music festivals unite people from various backgrounds. Tomorrowland, for instance, is an international music event which is attended by people from different nations. They come together and enjoy this event. Moreover, some songs are timeless hits and are enjoyed by people of different age groups. No matter how old or new the song is, some songs are enjoyed by people of all ages. As an example, music by Backstreet Boys is enjoyed by young as well as old people. Furthermore, songs like the national anthem of a particular country bring together people of all age groups of that nation. In my country India whenever people listen to the national anthem they come together and unite with each other. This not only helps in uniting the people but also invokes the feeling of patriotism among people. To conclude, music connects people from different cultures and ages together and not just nationally but also internationally.
It is always a debatable issue that, whether
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
is an effective way to bring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
backgrounds and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
groups together. I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that it is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
way of uniting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
kinds of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

Music is a medium to connect with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
internationally
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
have an international fan following.
For example
, songs from the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
boy band One Direction have a demand all over the world.
Even though
their songs are in the English language, their songs are more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
in countries where English is not the
first
language.
Also
, the
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "events'" or "event's"?
events
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music
festivals unite
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from various backgrounds. Tomorrowland,
for instance
, is an international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
which
is attended
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
nations. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
together and enjoy this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
.

Moreover
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
songs are timeless hits and
are enjoyed
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
groups. No matter how
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
or new the song is,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
songs
are enjoyed
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ages
. As an example,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
by Backstreet Boys
is enjoyed
by young
as well
as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Furthermore
, songs like the national anthem of a particular country bring together
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
groups of that nation. In my country India whenever
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
listen to the national anthem they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
together and unite with each other. This not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
in uniting the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
invokes the feeling of patriotism among
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

To conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
connects
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
cultures and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ages
together and not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
nationally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
internationally
.
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IELTS essay Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. with this opinion?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
252 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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