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Some people say it is best to accept a bad situation such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.1

Some people say it is best to accept a bad situation such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. v. 1
A highly debated topic today relates to people accepting or rejecting some unfavourable circumstances. While it is believed by some individuals that such status ought to be accepted, others feel attempts should be made to turn around such situations. Those that support leaving a distasteful condition as it were believed that it is only a natural phenomenon which is bound to change sooner or later. This is because, as they say, change is constant, and it only creates stress when an attempt is made to undo it. A case in point is my uncle, who worked as a janitor despite having a university degree. He subsequently got promoted to the level of a manager after five years, which, if he had attempted to alter might not have been achievable. However, it is thought by others that all efforts must be made to bring positive effects. The main reason is that individuals could improve their standard of living by forcing a change. A particularly good example is Bill Gates, the wealthiest man on earth, who was born into abject poverty, but made committed efforts to turn the situation around. Not only this, could the general public benefit from striving for betterment? Certainly yes. Should individuals successfully improve their living conditionsS, not only would they benefit, but the country would also enjoy a booming economy such as it is seen in the United States. In conclusion, I believe that people should endeavour to right every wrong they find themselves. This is because choosing to live with a terrible situation is deleterious and also unlikely to yield any positive outcome. It is therefore imperative to make concerted willpower to improve these circumstances as both individuals and the society stand to gain from it.
A
highly
debated topic
today
relates to
people
accepting or rejecting
some
unfavourable
circumstances. While it
is believed
by
some
individuals
that such status ought to be
accepted
, others feel attempts should
be made
to turn around such situations.

Those that support leaving a distasteful condition as it
were believed
that it is
only
a natural phenomenon which
is bound
to
change
sooner or later. This is
because
, as they say,
change
is constant, and it
only
creates
stress
when an attempt
is made
to undo it. A case in point is my uncle, who worked as a janitor despite having a university degree. He
subsequently
got
promoted to the level of a manager after five years, which, if he had attempted to alter might not have been achievable.

However
, it is
thought
by others that all efforts
must
be made
to bring
positive
effects. The main reason is that
individuals
could
improve
their standard of living by forcing a
change
. A
particularly
good
example is Bill Gates, the wealthiest
man
on earth, who
was born
into abject poverty,
but
made committed efforts to turn the situation around. Not
only
this, could the
general public
benefit from striving for betterment?
Certainly
yes. Should
individuals
successfully
improve
their living
conditionsS
, not
only
would they benefit,
but
the country would
also
enjoy a booming economy such as it is
seen
in the United States.

In conclusion
, I believe that
people
should
endeavour
to right every
wrong
they find themselves. This is
because
choosing to
live
with a terrible situation is deleterious and
also
unlikely to yield any
positive
outcome. It is
therefore
imperative to
make
concerted willpower to
improve
these circumstances as both
individuals
and the society stand to gain from it.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people say it is best to accept a bad situation such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
290 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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