Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some people believe tthat it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Other argues that it is better to try and improve such situations. v.1

Some people believe tthat it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Other argues that it is better to try and improve such situations. v. 1
Many individuals claim that the government's allocation for the arts is a waste fund, and this could have utilized for something else. I completely disagree with this viewpoint because providing financial benefits for this field will encourage the artists to produce quality output, and it will help to inherit the skills to the next generation. To begin with, providing sufficient financial resources on artwork by the authorities gives an extra force for the producers to perform well. In other words, when the artist possesses a better financial background, he will be able to find the most suitable raw materials for his piece of art so that he could provide what exactly his followers are looking for. For instance, many people in society have the ability of music, but they cannot join the industry as they are not able to afford the fundamental costs. When a country has the budget to help these people, it will be an invaluable input for the field in particular. Besides, utilizing the government's fund to purchase necessary instruments for the schools allows children to enhance their skills at the early stage. This will ensure that children have the opportunity to sharpen their abilities with the use of the latest equipment before becoming adults. The government of Sri Lanka, for instance, has a separate allocation to enhance the skills of youngsters. By doing this, the education ministry expects to get more art students for the universities who will pass out as knowledgeful artists eventually. In conclusion, even though it is believed by many that the government is wasting money on the arts, it is an indispensable input for the artists to address the audience in a way they are expecting and also this will ensure society gets more skilful artists in the long run.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
individuals claim that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
's allocation for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
is a waste fund, and this could have utilized for something else. I completely disagree with this viewpoint
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
providing financial benefits for this field will encourage the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artists
to produce quality output, and it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to inherit the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
to the
next
generation.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, providing sufficient financial resources on artwork by the authorities gives an extra force for the producers to perform well.
In other words
, when the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artist
possesses a better financial background, he will be able to find the most suitable raw materials for his piece of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that he could provide what exactly his followers are looking for.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in society have the ability of music,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
the industry as they are not able to afford the fundamental costs. When a country has the budget to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, it will be an invaluable input for the field
in particular
.

Besides
, utilizing the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
's fund to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
necessary instruments for the schools
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
children to enhance their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
at the early stage. This will ensure that children have the opportunity to sharpen their abilities with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of the latest equipment
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
becoming adults. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
of Sri Lanka,
for instance
, has a separate allocation to enhance the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
of youngsters. By doing this, the education ministry
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expects
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
students for the universities who will pass out as
Possible spelling mistake found.
knowledgeful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artists
eventually
.

In conclusion
,
even though
it
is believed
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
is wasting money on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
, it is an indispensable input for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artists
to address the audience in a way they are expecting and
also
this will ensure society
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
more
Possible spelling mistake. 'skilful' is British English.
skilful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artists
in the long run.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe tthat it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Other argues that it is better to try and improve such situations. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
298 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts