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Some people believe that nowadays we have too many choices. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.4

Some people believe that nowadays we have too many choices. v. 4
These days, the options available to mankind have been regarded as being excessive by some people. Although it is thought that this leads to wastes, I strongly disagree because the vast numbers of choices that we have are just what is needed to ensure the quality of life. Understandably, those that claim there are excess options feel that these lead to waste of resources and advertisement has been the cause of this impulsiveness. This, as they say, is because people tend to opt for the latest gadgets, even though the ones at hand are functioning optimally, thereby leading to not only wastage of resources, but also the exhaustion of money. A particularly good illustration is the case of iPhone 11, an Apple product, that was purchased in millions last year, despite clients having their own mobile phones, which they later abandoned. Thus, there is no denying the fact that two many alternatives, if not checked, could lead to piling up of unused items. However, I would argue that the multiplicity of alternatives promotes happiness and improves people’s lives. In those days when choices were limited, people experienced boredom and lack of fulfillment of purpose, but more recently, advancement in different fields has made life interesting. A good example is a tourist destination, a trending enterprise, where holidaymakers have a variety of options to visit on many continents of the world. This tends to bring improvements in the quality of life and make living worthwhile. In conclusion, although many people claim that there are exceeding options leading to misuse, I would argue that this is not the case as what we have today are just enough for our perusal which ensures our satisfaction. Only in this way can we collectively explore and enjoy what life has to offer.
These days, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
options
available to mankind have
been regarded
as being excessive by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. Although it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
that this leads to wastes, I
strongly
disagree
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the vast numbers of choices that we have are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
what
is needed
to ensure the quality of life.

Understandably
, those that claim there are excess
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
options
feel that these lead to waste of resources and advertisement has been the cause of this impulsiveness. This, as they say, is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend to opt for the latest gadgets,
even though
the ones at hand are functioning
optimally
, thereby leading to not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
wastage of resources,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
the exhaustion of money. A
particularly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
illustration is the case of iPhone 11, an Apple product, that was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchased
in millions last year, despite clients having their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
mobile phones, which they later abandoned.
Thus
, there is no denying the fact that
Did you mean "too"?
two
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
alternatives, if not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
checked
, could lead to piling up of unused items.

However
, I would argue that the multiplicity of alternatives promotes happiness and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improves
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. In those days when choices
were limited
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
experienced boredom and lack of fulfillment of purpose,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
more recently, advancement in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
fields has made life interesting. A
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
example is a tourist destination, a trending enterprise, where holidaymakers have a variety of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
options
to visit on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
continents of the world. This tends to bring improvements in the quality of life and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
living worthwhile.

In conclusion
, although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
claim that there are exceeding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
options
leading to misuse, I would argue that this is not the case as what we have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
for our perusal which ensures our satisfaction.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Only
in this way can we
collectively
explore and enjoy what life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
offer.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
It is astonishing how much enjoyment one can get out of a language that one understands imperfectly.
Basil Lanneau Gildersleeve

IELTS essay Some people believe that nowadays we have too many choices. v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
297 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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