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Some people believe that nowadays we have too many choices. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.11

Some people believe that nowadays we have too many choices. v. 11
In most countries of the world, people have to make decisions every day, from daily works to important life-related matters. Some may say that there are too many options that we can select, which should be a negative effect. While I believe that these choices are not too much, and they bring significant benefits to modern people’s life. One the one hand, because of technological development, people have more options than before. The internet, for example, it provides several online channels which people can base on their requirements and preference to use, such as news related websites, video channels and social media platforms. It helps people get information from various alternatives not only by TV, radio or newspaper like the past. In addition, The Internet also benefits people when buying new products. Because of online shops, people have more selections but not just can buy from physical stores, and they can compare prices and functions of different products easily. It means that they can choose the most suitable one at a reasonable price. On the other hand, the improvement of transport should be another one factor that brings more choices. Compared with the past, people go abroad can only take ships, but now we can choose to take airplanes like traditional airplanes and low-cost carriages. Besides, thanks to the advanced transport, which breaks the limitation of each nation. It makes people have more choices about destinations when they want to have an oversea trip. In conclusion, technological development lets people have more selections. And I think it is beneficial, since we can base on our need to choose the suitable options for ourselves.
In most countries of the world,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
decisions every day, from daily works to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
life-related matters.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
may say that there are too
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
options that we can select, which should be a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effect. While I believe that these choices are not too much, and they bring significant benefits to modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
life.

Did you mean "on"?
One
the one hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of technological development,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have more options than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
. The internet,
for example
, it provides several online channels which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can base on their requirements and preference to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
, such as news related websites, video channels and social media platforms. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
information from various alternatives not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
by TV, radio or newspaper like the past.
In addition
, The Internet
also
benefits
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
when buying new products.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of online shops,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have more selections
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
from physical stores, and they can compare prices and functions of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
products
easily
. It means that they can choose the most suitable one at a reasonable price.

On the other hand
, the improvement of transport should be another one factor that brings more choices. Compared with the past,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
go abroad can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
take ships,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
we can choose to take airplanes like traditional airplanes and low-cost carriages.
Besides
, thanks to the advanced transport, which breaks the limitation of each nation. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have more choices about destinations when they want to have an oversea trip.

In conclusion
, technological development
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lets
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have more selections. And I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it is beneficial, since we can base on our need to choose the suitable options for ourselves.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
10Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that nowadays we have too many choices. v. 11

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
273 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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