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Some people believe that nowadays we have too many choices. v.1

Some people believe that nowadays we have too many choices. v. 1
It’s argued that nowadays we face too many different choices. And as far as I can tell, I completely agree with this statement. There’s no doubt that it’s important to get enough information before we make a final decision, so that we can more likely to make a comparatively best choice. And in my opinion, enough information can at the same time give us more possible choices. As is known to all, technology has made it much easier to collect information over last several decades. Whenever and whence you are, you can simply take out your smartphone or ipad to find whatever you want on the internet. For example, there was a time when I had to choose my major in the university, but I hardly knew about the difference between the assorted majors. It was the internet I looked for help that made it clear for me and I could weigh the merit and adverse before I made the decision. On the other hand, I believe that the increasing choices can contribute to the development of business. To get more market shares and improve their sales, companies have created many products to attract customers to purchase, which could result in a waste of resources as well as our money and energy. Because lots of advertisements are inclined to extragrate the outcomes which make it harder for us to recognise a real worth product. In conclusion, technology help us to collect more information so that we will have many choices, while companies and their advertisements make it difficult to make a proper choice. So my firm conviction is that nowadays we do have too many choices.
It’s argued that nowadays we face too
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choices
. And as far as I can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
, I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement.

There’s no doubt that it’s
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
a final decision,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that we can more likely to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
a
A determiner is probably missing here: "comparatively the best".
comparatively best
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choice
. And in my opinion,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
can at the same time give us more possible
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choices
. As
is known
to all, technology has made it much easier to collect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
over last several decades. Whenever and whence you are, you can
simply
take out your smartphone or
Possible spelling mistake found.
ipad
to find whatever you want on the internet.
For example
, there was a time when I had to choose my major in the university,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I hardly knew about the difference between the assorted majors. It was the internet I looked for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
that made it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
for me and I could weigh the merit and adverse
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
I made the decision.

On the other hand
, I believe that the increasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choices
can contribute to the development of business. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
more market shares and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their sales,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
have created
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
products to attract customers to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
, which could result in a waste of resources
as well
as our money and energy.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
lots of advertisements
are inclined
to
Possible spelling mistake found.
extragrate
the outcomes which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
it harder for us to
Possible spelling mistake. 'recognise' is British English.
recognise
a real worth product.

In conclusion
, technology
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
us to collect more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that we will have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choices
, while
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
and their advertisements
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
it difficult to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
a proper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choice
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
my firm conviction is that nowadays we do have too
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choices
.
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
16Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that nowadays we have too many choices. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
276 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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