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Some people believe that it is the best a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. v.1

Some people believe that it is the best a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. v. 1
People have different views about whether to accept a bad situation or to try the best and improve such cases. While it remains a controversial topic, I would argue that not all bad situations are needed to ignore and not all to be improved. On the one hand, accepting a bad situation is a kind of decision to get out of the rat race. When everyone seems to be very busy and hustle, they could take it such the best time for looking back and figuring out what are the most important things for them or releasing unnecessary things from their life. This kind of tradeoff between long term goals and never-ending competitions. For example, my neighbour had a high-paid salary job in a big company, but she struggled between working and family issues. Then, she decided to quit this job and work in a smaller one with lower income next to her house. She is satisfied with her decision because now she can both work and take care of her family. On the other hand, only improving and facing issues such situations could solve the problem. Personal motivating has played an important role in this case because of the unsatisfied with what they have and motivating to achieve more and better things. Even though sometimes all trying might not pay off the results as they expected. For instance, an athlete had broken his leg due to an accident during his training. After the surgery with huge motivation and never giving up spiritual, he has to face the truth that he can walk and move again but could never attend a competition again. In conclusion, the main important thing when facing bad situations is to analyse the problems and depending on personal cases, people know the best way to react to them.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
views about whether to accept a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
or to try the best and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
such cases. While it remains a controversial topic, I would argue that not all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situations
are needed
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignore
and not all to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
.

On the one hand, accepting a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
is a kind of decision to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
out of the rat race. When everyone seems to be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
busy and hustle, they could take it such the best time for looking back and figuring out what are the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
things for them or releasing unnecessary things from their life. This kind of
Possible spelling mistake found.
tradeoff
between long term goals and never-ending competitions.
For example
, my
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbour' is British English.
neighbour
had a high-paid salary job in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
she struggled between working and family issues. Then, she decided to quit this job and work in a smaller one with lower income
next
to her
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
. She
is satisfied
with her decision
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
she can both work and take care of her family.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
improving and facing issues such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situations
could solve the problem. Personal motivating has played an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role
in this case
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the unsatisfied with what they have and motivating to achieve more and better things.
Even though
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
all trying might not pay off the results as they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
.
For instance
, an athlete had broken his leg due to an accident during his training. After the surgery with huge motivation and never giving up spiritual, he
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
face the truth that he can walk and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
again
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
could never attend a competition again.

In conclusion
, the main
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
thing when facing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situations
is to
Possible spelling mistake. 'analyse' is British English.
analyse
the problems and depending on personal cases,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
know the best way to react to them.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that it is the best a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
302 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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