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Some people believe that it is best to accept bad situation, such as unsatisftory jobs or shortage of money. Other argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.1

Some people believe that it is best to accept bad situation, such as unsatisftory jobs or shortage of money. Other argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. v. 1
Life is always not the same, Its a mixture of positive and negative situations. There are different opinions based on this some beliefs people should accept the bad situation where others say its better learn from it. In my opinion, people should face such a crucial situation so they can survive. Some people believe that anything wrong happens in their life is their fate because they do not have any courage to accept it or taught to respond like this in their childhood. For example, my grandparents, advise me on my difficulties, that it is your destiny, you cannot change it. Mostly older people rely on tradition, had such kind of characteristics that they do not have any choice rather than accepting that or live with it. However, people, especially the younger generation do not follow such thinking. They are educated moreover, have the ability to face such complicated circumstances. From my personal experience, whenever I have been in trouble always dared to face it, without fear that improves my confidence in addition to that it helps me to succeed. The Majority of the youngsters are ready to take it as a challenge. In conclusion, around the world, people have various views on troubling situations. Some of them can accept challenges, while others do not and they blame their fate. That mainly depends on the circumstances they have grown up as well as lack of education. In my point of view, handling difficulties without fear is the best move towards success.
Life is always not the same,
Did you mean "it's" (="it is") instead of 'its' (possessive pronoun)?
Its
a mixture of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situations
. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
opinions based on this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
beliefs
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should accept the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
where others say its better learn from it. In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should face such a crucial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they can survive.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that anything
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
happens in their life is their fate
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they do not have any courage to accept it or taught to respond like this in their childhood.
For example
, my grandparents, advise me on my difficulties, that it is your destiny, you cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
it.
Mostly
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
rely on tradition, had such kind of characteristics that they do not have any choice
rather
than accepting that or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
with it.

However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
especially
the younger generation do not follow such thinking. They
are educated
moreover
, have the ability to face such complicated circumstances. From my personal experience, whenever I have been in trouble always dared to face it, without fear that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improves
my confidence
in addition
to that it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
me to succeed. The Majority of the youngsters are ready to take it as a challenge.

In conclusion
, around the world,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have various views on troubling
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situations
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
of them can accept challenges, while others do
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
not and
they blame their fate. That
mainly
depends on the circumstances they have grown up
as well
as lack of education. In my point of view, handling difficulties without fear is the best
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
towards success.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that it is best to accept bad situation, such as unsatisftory jobs or shortage of money. Other argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
251 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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