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Some people believe that it is best to accept a bag situation such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money Others argur that it is better to try and improve such situations Discuss both these views and give your own opinion v.1

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bag situation such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money Others argur that it is better to try and improve such situations 1
Life is difficult and unexpected. Today, you can be rich by winning the lottery, but you can lose everything like your job, money, or family the next day. When a bad situation occurs, some people may accept it and let it drive their life while others may fight against that bad. If something bad happened to me, I would choose the latter. I have been through more ups and downs than I can count so far in life. However, life has taught me to never give up in any circumstances no matter how bad it is. I say this from my experience. After graduating, I was recruited by a famous Japanese corporation, where many students dreamed to work at. Despite my dream job, I was shocked by the dynamic environment. I couldn’t catch up to the assigned work because I had lacked many skills. Every day became a nightmare. I would come home late feeling stressed, and I would miss a lot of social events. To top it all off, my girlfriend back then left me. I thought that nothing was going to change until one day I watched a speech done by Barack Obama accidentally. The speech encouraged me to invest in my weekend by learning and exercising. After a couple of months, I steadily caught up with the workload. Now, every time I look back, I see that dark time as a great lesson I’d never forget. In conclusion, I think there’s no victory without suffering. If a bad situation arises, it’s better to try to improve it than accepting it.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Life
is difficult and unexpected.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
, you can be rich by winning the lottery,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
you can lose everything like your job, money, or family the
next
day. When a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bad
situation occurs,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
may accept it and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
it drive their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
while others may fight against that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bad
. If something
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bad
happened to me, I would choose the latter. I have been through more ups and downs than I can count
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
far in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
has taught me to never give up in any circumstances no matter how
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bad
it is. I say this from my experience. After graduating, I
was recruited
by a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
Japanese corporation, where
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
students dreamed to work at. Despite my dream job, I
was shocked
by the dynamic environment. I couldn’t catch up to the assigned work
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I had lacked
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
. Every day became a nightmare. I would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
home late feeling
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stressed
, and I would miss
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
. To top it all off, my girlfriend back then
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
me. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
that nothing was going to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
until one day I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watched
a speech done by Barack Obama
accidentally
. The speech encouraged me to invest in my weekend by learning and exercising. After a couple of months, I
steadily
caught up with the workload.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
, every time I look back, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that dark time as a great lesson I’d never forget.
In conclusion
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
there’s no victory without suffering. If a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bad
situation arises, it’s better to try to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
it than accepting it.
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that it is best to accept a bag situation such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money Others argur that it is better to try and improve such situations 1

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
263 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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