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Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situatuion, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss and give your opinion v.2

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situatuion, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss and give your opinion v. 2
There is no doubt that a particular situation can affect a person life. Although some people believe that it is good to accept a bad one such as lack of money or doing an unsatisfied job, I would argue that it is necessary to try and improve these situations for a better future. On the one hand, those who believe that it would be beneficial to admit a bad situation, such as doing an unsatisfactory work might argue that it will become worse if they go against it. This is because at present the unemployment rate in many nations is at an alarming level and it is very difficult for a person to find one. For example, in developing nations like Pakistan and India, people are doing the same jobs for years, because there is no alternative to this. In contrast, If there are chances for workers to get jobs, there will be satisfaction among them. On the other hand, my view is that it is essential to overtake such situations for a bright future. For example, If you are facing a difficulty such as a shortage of money, you should try to do more work to earn more. Many students are doing part-time jobs to take care of their educational expenditures. If they do not do this, their future will be at stake. In conclusion, despite a negative situation which can be harmful to your existing one if you resist, it is my firm belief that we should try to improve it and make sure a bright and healthier future.
There is no doubt that a particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
can affect a person life. Although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
to accept a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
one such as lack of money or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
an unsatisfied
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
, I would argue that it is necessary to
"Try and" is common in colloquial speech, but "try to" is recommended for writing.
try and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situations
for a better future.

On the one hand, those who believe that it would be beneficial to admit a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
, such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
an unsatisfactory work might argue that it will become worse if they go against it. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
at present the unemployment rate in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
nations is at an alarming level and it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
difficult for a person to find one.
For example
, in developing nations like Pakistan and India,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
for years,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there is no alternative to this.
In contrast
, If there are chances for workers to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
, there will be satisfaction among them.

On the other hand
, my view is that it is essential to overtake such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situations
for a bright future.
For example
, If you are facing a difficulty such as a shortage of money, you should try to do more work to earn more.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
students are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
part-time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
to take care of their educational expenditures. If they do not do this, their future will be at stake.

In conclusion
, despite a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
which can be harmful to your existing one if you resist, it is my firm belief that we should try to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
it and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
sure a bright and healthier future.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
13Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situatuion, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss and give your opinion v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
261 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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