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Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an uunsatisfying job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. v.2

There is no doubt that we tend to deal with different situations in life. Although certain individuals think that take up negative circumstances better, I would argue that make an effort and enhance the conditions will be a good option. On the other hand, those who believe accept a bad situation might argue that it can make them be grateful. This is because such disputes will make them think that something happened for a reason for this situation. For example, during Year-End sales, we didn’t manage to purchase the things that we want for a discounted price because the others buy it faster than us, but the good side of it probably if we get it, the goods might be not in a good condition. In some conditions, accepting this situation better because we have no clue about the risks ahead if we eager to change fate. However, in my view is that trying and improving those circumstances is vital as it helps us get out of our comfort zone. The reason for this is that it will makes us a stronger person as our life will be constantly challenging and gives us ideas to search for other alternatives. For instance, some people not satisfied with their jobs because of many reasons such as office cultures, chaotic management, low salary, and others. If we just remain in this environment, it will lead to mental problems and we need to come along with solutions to get better opportunities that waiting for us. In conclusion, despite the unwanted situations sometimes is a good practice as we learn to be grateful, it is my firm belief that we must at least work on effort and improve the situations are important as life is not always as we planned and we should not feel comfortable with what we have.
There is no doubt that we tend to deal with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situations
in life. Although certain individuals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that take up
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
circumstances better, I would argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
an effort and enhance the conditions will be a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
option.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, those who believe accept a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
might argue that it can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
them be grateful. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
such disputes will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
them
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that something happened for a reason for this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
.
For example
, during Year-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
End
sales, we didn’t manage to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
the things that we want for a discounted price
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
it faster than us,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
side of it
probably
if we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
it, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
might be not in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
condition. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
conditions, accepting this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
better
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
we have no clue about the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
ahead if
Did you mean “we are eager” or “we were eager”?
we eager
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
fate.

However
, in my view is that trying and improving those circumstances is vital as it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
us
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
out of our comfort zone.
The reason for this is
that it will
The modal verb ‘will’ requires the verb’s base form.
makes
us a stronger person as our life will be
constantly
challenging and gives us
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
to search for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
alternatives.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
not satisfied with their jobs
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons such as office cultures, chaotic management, low salary,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
and others
. If we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
remain in this environment, it will lead to mental
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
problems and
we need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
along with solutions to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
better opportunities that waiting for us.

In conclusion
, despite the unwanted
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situations
The adverb ‘sometimes’ usually goes after the verb ‘is’.
sometimes is
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
practice as we learn to be grateful, it is my firm belief that we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
at least work on effort and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situations
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
as life is not always as we
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
planned and
we should not feel comfortable with what we have.
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IELTS essay Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
305 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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