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Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an uunsatisfying job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. v.1

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an uunsatisfying job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. v. 1
Nowadays, it is widely recommended that the best to accept a bad circumstance, such as an undesirable work or financial weakness. Instead, some people argue that it is wiser to improve such circumstances. This essay will discuss both these opinions. In addition, from my personal experience, I believe in the power of change and endurance of making a better world, or at least, my own life. Firstly, learning to accept things that are bad is one of the things which is commonly taught in schools or at an early age. We are familiar with lots of phrases, most of which are related to having patience to wait for good things to happen, spoken by lots of well-known people and even in our families. For example, one Thai phrase says, “If the time is auspicious, everything will be better”, most new Thai graduates would hear this when they fail to secure a job after graduation. It is a mindset of being humble, but being a loser, too. Also, this type of thinking can stop one’s mind from reaching his or her dreams, as it makes a person accept what it is as something they can’t change. Secondly, I think that people consist of creativity, desire for changes, and determination. These three components in our body force us to solve and overcome problems. For instance, when there is an earthquake, it is ridiculous to do nothing and then say that it is God's desire to make us suffer this disaster. It is common sense that we should strive for a better standard of living and overcome any obstacle in our life. That’s why we currently have lots of new technology these days. In conclusion, as long as this planet still exists, I think that it is better for us to improve ourselves and such bad conditions. We have struggled against natural disasters, pandemics and yet we are still living. It is our endurance which moves our world towards a better future.
Nowadays, it is
widely
recommended that the best to accept a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
circumstance, such as an undesirable work or financial weakness.
Instead
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
argue that it is wiser to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
such circumstances. This essay will discuss both these opinions.
In addition
, from my personal experience, I believe in the power of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
and endurance of making a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
world, or at least, my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
life.

Firstly
, learning to accept things that are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
is one of the things which is
commonly
taught in schools or at an early age. We are familiar with lots of phrases, most of which
are related
to having patience to wait for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
things to happen, spoken by lots of well-known
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and even in our families.
For example
, one Thai phrase says, “If the time is auspicious, everything will be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better”
, most new Thai graduates would hear this when they fail to secure a job after graduation. It is a mindset of being humble,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
being a loser, too.
Also
, this type of thinking can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
one’s mind from reaching
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
his or her
dreams, as it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
a person accept what it is as something they can’t
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
.

Secondly
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
consist of creativity, desire for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
, and determination. These three components in our body force us to solve and overcome problems.
For instance
, when there is an earthquake, it is ridiculous to do nothing and then say that it is God's desire to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
us suffer this disaster. It is common sense that we should strive for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
standard of living and overcome any obstacle in our life. That’s why we
currently
have lots of new technology these days.

In conclusion
, as long as this planet
still
exists, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
for us to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
ourselves and such
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
conditions. We have struggled against natural disasters,
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
pandemics and
yet
we are
still
living. It is our endurance which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
moves
our world towards a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
future.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes
Language comes first. It’s not that language grows out of consciousness, if you haven’t got language, you can’t be conscious.
Alan Moore

IELTS essay Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an uunsatisfying job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
329 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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