Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory of job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both these vies and give your opinion. v.1

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory of job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. v. 1
In the 21st century, there are innumerable issues that certainly affect the person’s life. However, this will give a debatable issue in which some people perceive that they must accept any unfavourable situation while; others think that how to make alternation and by convert it into a favourable one. My stance is given, followed by the arguments in the further paragraphs. To begin with, one of the important reasons to accept the circumstances is this will deliver the strength also manage the health of the person. Although, a person who deals with fatal things gives them stress and sometimes this will result into the serious illness such as heart attack. By accepting the reality, one should positively handle in a particular hurdle. Moreover, this will provide the way to handle the situation which protect them to fall in unexpected dispute. For example, a person who suffer from financial crisis accept the scenario and spends the money as per their ability which can fade stress and other serious impact of that in their family also. On the other hand, there are various circumstances in which that person must live their life and they can do certain steps which helps them to solve it. Firstly, Here, not only focus on the problems, but the person must also think about the precautionary steps which solve it. This will also give them relief from stress and show the new path which can take up from it. Furthermore, by putting ample efforts to solve the problem one can also find a few ways which develop the self-esteem. For instance, Research conducted shows that a child, who is not able to read can solve this one by continuous effort, dedication and giving time, doing this they can get success on it. In conclusion, as per my opinion, in today’s fast-growing world, it may be possible for the person to deal with the change in the situation by analysing the problems and taking preventive steps would enable them to reach a future goal in life.
In the 21st century, there are innumerable issues that
certainly
affect the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person’s
life.
However
, this will give a debatable issue in which
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
perceive that they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
accept any
Possible spelling mistake. 'unfavourable' is British English.
unfavourable
situation while; others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
alternation and by convert it into a
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourable' is British English.
favourable
one. My stance is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
, followed by the arguments in the
further
paragraphs.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, one of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
reasons to accept the circumstances is this will deliver the strength
also
manage the health of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
. Although, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
who deals with fatal things gives them
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
this will result into the serious illness such as heart attack. By accepting the reality, one should
positively
handle in a particular hurdle.
Moreover
, this will provide the way to handle the situation which protect them to fall in unexpected dispute.
For example
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
who suffer from financial crisis accept the scenario and spends the money as per their ability which can fade
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
and other serious impact of that in their family
also
.

On the other hand
, there are various circumstances in which that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
their
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
life and
they can do certain steps which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solve
it.
Firstly
, Here, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
focus on the problems,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about the precautionary steps which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solve
it. This will
also
give them relief from
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
the new path which can take up from it.
Furthermore
, by putting ample efforts to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solve
the problem one can
also
find a few ways which develop the self-esteem.
For instance
, Research conducted
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that a child, who is not able to read can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solve
this one by continuous effort, dedication and giving time, doing this they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
success on it.

In conclusion
, as per my opinion, in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
-growing world, it may be possible for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
to deal with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in the situation by
Possible spelling mistake. 'analysing' is British English.
analysing
the problems and taking preventive steps would enable them to reach a future goal in life.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory of job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
338 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts