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Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. v. 172 v.94

There are two conflicting views, one is that people live with an unpleasant situation like a dissatisfying job and an inadequate amount of money, or they do something to better their circumstances. I would argue that it is better to work hard and upgrade their living. The opinion to live in unreasonable conditions has several reasons. People who are afraid of an uncertain future continue their employment whether they are satisfied or not because they think that they will not get any job if they left it. Moreover, people who do not have enough amount of money; not try to earn more. In this way, their situation will not be changed because they do not want to. On the other hand, I believe that it is more beneficial to try to change their circumstances. Firstly, they should believe in themselves, and work with determination. So, their life will be changed and acknowledged by many people around the world. For example, a person I know whose family was not in a very good condition but he studied on scholarship and worked hard now they are in a very better situation. Furthermore, people can work part-time to earn more and continue their flexible living. They are many working opportunities, for instance, people can do online work or in any company who offer part-time employments. For the reasons mentioned above, it seems to me that people are more likely to be successful if they continue their struggle to better their present as compared to their past.
There are two conflicting views, one is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
with an unpleasant situation like a dissatisfying job and an inadequate amount of money, or they do something to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
their circumstances. I would argue that it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
and upgrade their living.

The opinion to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in unreasonable conditions has several reasons.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
who are afraid of an uncertain future continue their employment whether they
are satisfied
or not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that they will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
any job if they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
it.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who do not have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
amount of money; not try to earn more. In this way, their situation will not be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they do not want to.

On the other hand
, I believe that it is more beneficial to try to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
their circumstances.
Firstly
, they should believe in themselves, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
with determination.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, their life will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
and acknowledged by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
around the world.
For example
, a person I know whose family was not in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
condition
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
he studied on scholarship and worked
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
they are in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
situation.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
part-time to earn more and continue their flexible living. They are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
working opportunities,
for instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can do online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
or in any
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
who offer part-time employments.

For the reasons mentioned above, it seems to me that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are more likely to be successful if they continue their struggle to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
their present as compared to their past.
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IELTS essay Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
253 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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