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Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. v. 171 v.93

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. v. 171 v. 93
Everyone faces a tough situation in their life. It is generally believed that it is best to accept that situation, namely unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. While others think that it is better to try and improve that situation. In this essay, I will discuss about the both sides of the argument and give my opinion. Firstly, People should follow passion and choose a right job. Although it increases job satisfaction, but also increase our productivity. For instance, If a person follows his passion with dedication, it automatically creates payments for him and saves from the lack of money because it develops interest in that field and helps to feel comfortable. So, choosing a right work related interest is more important in these days to avoid such situations. In contrast, people should concentrate more on their job than the salary they get for that work. However, earning a big salary is more important in these days because of basic requirements for a person. For example, The prices of our basic things like cooking items, petrol, house rent are projected to increase year by year. So, The earning of the person should increase to afford those prices this is known as inflation. Otherwise the person gets poverty of money. In my conclusion, by discussing the both sides of the argument in the above aforementioned points, people should choose a job from their passion which provides them happiness and a great satisfaction. In my humble opinion, Everyone should try to improve such situations with dedication and should try to increase their salary to avoid shortage of property.
Everyone faces a tough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
in their life. It is
generally
believed that it is best to accept that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
,
namely
unsatisfactory
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
or shortage of money. While others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it is better to
"Try and" is common in colloquial speech, but "try to" is recommended for writing.
try and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
. In this essay, I will
Did you mean simply "discuss the"? You do not need the word "about" here.
discuss about the
both sides of the argument and give my opinion.

Firstly
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
should follow passion and choose a right
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
. Although it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increases
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
satisfaction,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increase
our productivity.
For instance
, If a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
follows his passion with dedication, it
automatically
creates payments for him and saves from the lack of money
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it develops interest in that field and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to feel comfortable.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, choosing a right work related interest is more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
in these days to avoid such situations.

In contrast
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
should concentrate more on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
than the salary they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
for that work.
However
, earning a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
salary is more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
in these days
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of basic requirements for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
.
For example
, The prices of our basic things like cooking items, petrol,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
rent
are projected
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increase
year by year.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, The earning of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increase
to afford those prices this
is known
as inflation.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Otherwise
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
poverty of money.

In my conclusion, by discussing the both sides of the argument in the above aforementioned points,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
should choose a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
from their passion which provides them happiness and a great satisfaction. In my humble opinion, Everyone should try to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situations
with dedication and should try to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increase
their salary to avoid shortage of property.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Mistakes
You can never understand one language until you understand at least two.
Geoffrey Willans

IELTS essay Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. v. 171 v. 93

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
266 words
9
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 9.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 9.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 9.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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