Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. v. 163 v.86

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. v. 163 v. 86
Currently, a highly controversial issue relates to whether people should try to overcome severe circumstances such as unpleasant jobs or financial problems. In this essay, I will examine this question from both sides of view and then give my opinion on the matter. On one side of the argument, there are people who argue that the most effective action is accepting a disappointing occupation because they want to maintain a stable amount of income. This is because salaries may be lower if workers switch jobs and begin working for new companies. In addition, many people hold a belief that it is necessary for human beings to remain the status of lack of money. This is due to the fact that people can have a comfortable life if they do not try to get out of a financial issue. In other words, they will not be under lots of pressure if they do not struggle to earn more money. For instance, primary school teachers in Ho Chi Minh City have very low incomes compared to the expensive life in this city, so they have to do two or three part-time jobs to earn a better living to solve the problems of finance. Consequently, they have to work flat out and stay up late on a daily basis, which adversely affects their health and immune system. On the other hand, it is also possible to make an opposing case. It is often argued that in fact people should make best efforts to improve an unsatisfactory career because it can help them have happiness every day. This is because societies spend most of their time on their occupations every day, so they will feel merry if they are satisfied with their jobs. Secondly, some people claim that it is vital to find solutions for their financial issues. This is due to the fact that money can facilitate human’s life and enhance their living qualities. As a result, people will be more happy if they have enough money to purchase all of necessary things and pursue their recreational pursuits. In conclusion, both perspectives have their own merits. However, on balance, I feel that it is best for people to manage to overcome difficult situations because people will have a happier life and higher quality of life.
Currently
, a
highly
controversial issue relates to whether
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should try to overcome severe circumstances such as unpleasant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
or financial problems. In this essay, I will examine this question from both sides of view and then give my opinion on the matter.

On one side of the argument, there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who argue that the most effective action is accepting a disappointing occupation
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they want to maintain a stable amount of income. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
salaries may be lower if workers switch
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
working for new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
.
In addition
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
hold a belief that it is necessary for human beings to remain the status of lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
.
This is due to the fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can have a comfortable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
if they do not try to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
out of a financial issue.
In other words
, they will not be under lots of pressure if they do not struggle to earn more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
.
For instance
, primary school teachers in Ho Chi Minh City have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
low incomes compared to the expensive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
in this city,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
do two or three part-time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
to earn a better living to solve the problems of finance.
Consequently
, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
work flat out and stay up late on a daily basis, which
adversely
affects their health and immune system.

On the other hand
, it is
also
possible to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
an opposing case. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
argued that in fact
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should
A determiner is probably missing here: "make the best".
make best
efforts to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
an unsatisfactory career
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them have happiness every day. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
societies spend most of their time on their occupations every day,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they will feel merry if they
are satisfied
with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
.
Secondly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
claim that it is vital to find solutions for their financial issues.
This is due to the fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
can facilitate human’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and enhance their living qualities.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will be more happy if they have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
all of necessary things and pursue their recreational pursuits.

In conclusion
, both perspectives have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
merits.
However
, on balance, I feel that it is best for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to manage to overcome difficult situations
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will have a happier
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and higher quality of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. v. 163 v. 86

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
382 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts