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Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion v. 160 v.84

Many argue that admitting harsh realities, for example, undesirable job or lack of money is the most effective way to go on in life. Yet others put forward the view that a better way is to strive for ameliorating those stark conditions and work for success in life. In the case, I agree with the latter view. On the one hand, many a person succumb to hardship, be it an unsatisfactory profession, scarcity of money or a bad relationship. The most prominent reason is their paradigm of thought. According to their claim, good or bad conditions are merely states of mind or a trick of fate. They believe that if people live in a lavish situation but their mind perceives it as an awful condition, that reality will be terrible and vice versa. They also believe that they have nothing to do when fate has reserved something for them. A case in point is one of my distant uncles, who, despite having many opportunities, does not look for a better occupation. He feels happy with his condition expressing gratitude to God and he feels that this is what destiny has allowed him to have. On the other hand, many others claim that people can translate their bad condition into a good one by assessing their current reality. In other words, they need to find out what is their strength, weakness, and opportunity. After knowing their advantages, lackings, and opportunity, they can devise a strategy. A good example here is one of my unemployed friends who assessed his situation that he was good at report writing but lacked necessary technical skills. Then he equipped him with technology skills he needed to be a freelance journalist. He sat up his own business, and these days he is quite successful. In conclusion, at one point or another life presents us with an unwanted turn of events. It may be an unsatisfactory situation that we are not prepared to deal with. In my opinion, we should keep our emotion in check so that we can make a more reasonable decision about how to deal with this difficult condition. We ought to learn new set skills so as to improve our condition as well.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
argue that admitting harsh realities,
for example
, undesirable job or lack of money is the most effective way to go on in life.
Yet
others put forward the view that a better way is to strive for ameliorating those stark conditions and work for success in life. In the case, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the latter view.

On the one hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
a person succumb to hardship, be it an unsatisfactory profession, scarcity of money or a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
relationship. The most prominent reason is their paradigm of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
. According to their claim,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
conditions are
merely
states of mind or a trick of fate. They believe that if
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in a lavish situation
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
their mind perceives it as an awful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
condition
, that reality will be terrible and vice versa. They
also
believe that they have nothing to do when fate has reserved something for them. A case in point is one of my distant uncles, who, despite having
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
opportunities, does not look for a better occupation. He feels happy with his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
condition
expressing gratitude to
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
God and
he feels that this is what destiny has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
him to have.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
others claim that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can translate their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
condition
into a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
one by assessing their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
reality. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words, they need to find out what is their strength, weakness, and opportunity. After knowing their advantages,
Possible spelling mistake found.
lackings
, and opportunity, they can devise a strategy. A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
example here is one of my unemployed friends who assessed his situation that he was
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
at report writing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
lacked necessary technical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
. Then he equipped him with technology
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
he needed to be a freelance journalist. He sat up his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
business, and these days he is quite successful.

In conclusion
, at one point or another life presents us with an unwanted turn of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
. It may be an unsatisfactory situation that we are not prepared to deal with. In my opinion, we should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
our emotion in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a more reasonable decision about how to deal with this difficult
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
condition
. We ought to learn new set
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
‘So as to’ expresses purpose and is used in formal texts. Consider using “to”
so as to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
condition
as well
.
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One who speaks only one language is one person, but one who speaks two languages is two people.
Turkish proverb

IELTS essay Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
369 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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