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Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both views and give your opinion v. 147 v.71

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. 147 v. 71
Circumstances faced by an individual can define their happiness or sadness. Many a times, some people think that they should adjust to awful conditions like, a mediocre career or financial crisis, while others think that we should try to improvise the condition. This essay will discuss both aspects, but I opine that one must always work towards the betterment of their future. Unhealthy situations such as less amount of funds or poor work culture can definitely spoil the mental status of an individual. When both these situations come together, a person feels that, they should accept the condition and live life the way it is. For example, a person who is facing shortage of funds would never leave their job irrespective of an unsatisfactory job position and compromise with the situation. Therefore, generally people adjust to the circumstances at their hand. Despite awful conditions, I believe that an individual should always try to move towards a better future. All the efforts that have been put will eventually bear fruit at some point of time. For instance, in spite of having no money, Dhirubhai Ambani never gave up and tried to put more efforts which eventually lead to development of Reliance Industries. Hence, we must have a never give up attitude towards life. To conclude, poor financial status and jobs that are not mentally satisfying can often cause mental depression. Some argue that one must adjust to this position while others believe that they should work towards a better future. This essay discussed both these views and I opine that irrespective of the conditions one has to face, they should always try to improve their position in every possible way.
Circumstances faced by an individual can define their happiness or sadness.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "a time" or simply "times"?
a times
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that they should adjust to awful conditions like, a mediocre career or financial crisis, while others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that we should try to improvise the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
condition
. This essay will discuss both aspects,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I opine that one
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
always work towards the betterment of their future.

Unhealthy situations such as less amount of funds or poor work culture can definitely spoil the mental status of an individual. When both these situations
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
together, a person feels that, they should accept the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
condition
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
life the way it is.
For example
, a person who is facing shortage of funds would never
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
their job irrespective of an unsatisfactory job position and compromise with the situation.
Therefore
,
generally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
adjust to the circumstances at their hand.

Despite awful conditions, I believe that an individual should always try to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
towards a better future. All the efforts that have
been put
will
eventually
bear fruit at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
point of time.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
in spite of
having no money,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Dhirubhai
Possible spelling mistake found.
Ambani
never gave up and tried to put more efforts which
eventually
lead to development of Reliance Industries.
Hence
, we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
have a never give up attitude towards life.

To conclude
, poor financial status and jobs that are not mentally satisfying can
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
cause mental depression.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
argue that one
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
adjust to this position while others believe that they should work towards a better future. This essay discussed both these views and I opine that irrespective of the conditions one
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
face, they should always try to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their position in every possible way.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. 147 v. 71

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
279 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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