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Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. v. 142 v.66

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. v. 142 v. 66
It is often argued by some people that coping with unacceptable profession or dealing with money scarcity is the best way to accept complicated circumstances, while others believe that ameliorating the conditions should be taken into account to get out the vice grips of the dilemma. Accordingly, both the distinct views will be explored and discussed in details, following from my own perspective on the matter. On the one hand, it is true that accepting a bad situation is the best way when you have no choice. For example, in developing communities like Iran, which an overwhelming majority of people are unemployment, if you have a low paying job, you have to cope with it. Moreover, for people who live below the poverty level, they have no choice but to accept the situation. Take Africa as an example of poverty stricken and deprived district. Hence, in some severe conditions, to overcome its predicaments such as pecuniary plights that you encounter, it is optimistic to accept it rather than fight against the rational reasons behind it. On the other hand, it is best to ameliorate the catastrophic conditions by trying more and more, as some people believe. For example, when you face an unacceptable situation regarding your career such as stressful environment, you should be able to eliminate the stress through peaceful way like negotiation so that you can continue with your work. In addition, money scarcity would be eradicated if our politicians pay meticulous attention to create jobs and provide an atmosphere for individuals to apply their innate and untapped potential. Consequently, improving bad situation is one step to prosperity which requires enormous endeavours. In conclusion, although a couple of individuals take the view that accepting intricate circumstances is the best, others based on the opinion that improving such conditions by applying a more potential is optimism.
It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
argued by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
that coping with unacceptable profession or dealing with money scarcity is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
best
way to accept complicated circumstances, while others believe that ameliorating the conditions should
be taken
into account to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
out the vice grips of the dilemma.
Accordingly
, both the distinct views will
be explored
and discussed in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
, following from my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
perspective on the matter.

On the one hand, it is true that accepting a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
best
way when you have no choice.
For example
, in developing communities like Iran, which an overwhelming majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are unemployment, if you have a low paying job, you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
cope with it.
Moreover
, for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
below the poverty level, they have no choice
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
to accept the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
. Take Africa as an example of
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
poverty stricken
and deprived district.
Hence
, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
severe conditions, to overcome its predicaments such as pecuniary plights that you encounter, it is optimistic to accept it
rather
than fight against the rational reasons behind it.

On the other hand
, it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
best
to ameliorate the catastrophic conditions by trying more and more, as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe.
For example
, when you face an unacceptable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
regarding your career such as stressful environment, you should be able to eliminate the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
through peaceful way like negotiation
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that you can continue with your work.
In addition
, money scarcity would
be eradicated
if our politicians pay meticulous attention to create jobs and provide an atmosphere for individuals to apply their innate and untapped potential.
Consequently
, improving
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
situation
is one step to prosperity which requires enormous
Possible spelling mistake. 'endeavours' is British English.
endeavours
.

In conclusion
, although a couple of individuals
Possible agreement error. Did you mean "takes"? (Some collective nouns can be treated as both singular and plural, so 'take' is not always incorrect.)
take
the view that accepting intricate circumstances is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
best
, others based on the opinion that improving such conditions by applying a more potential is optimism.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
Language shapes the way we think, and determines what we can think about.
Benjamin Lee Whorf

IELTS essay Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. v. 142 v. 66

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
307 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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