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Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. v. 140 v.64

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. v. 140 v. 64
Generally, there are two different views about a bad or unpleasant situation among those who stuck with. Like as, inappropriate jobs and low-paid ones. Some people think that, they must undergo with the problem, while others insist on trying to use opportunities to their advantage. In this essay I will discuss either of these two opinions, before giving my personal view. Firstly, there are individuals always thinking of improvements. They often assume that, if only they were running their own business, it would be much better for them. They easily take a risk to try new things in order to make a difference. They can’t play by the rules and they would rather have an influence on the environment. This brings out a challenging personality of them. Having said that we could never fly, but for those who risked their lives to make that dream came true. My honest opinion is that, this group can provide a competitive atmosphere in the community that will result in further enhancements. Secondly, despite the fact that many societies are suffering from lack of equal opportunities, some people are also quite pessimistic about changing, not only in their profession, but also other aspects of their lives. For example, it is possible for one person to refuse medical treatments as if they are in conflict with their superstitions. And many dread getting into a worse situation. So, this attitude breeds a tendency to maintain the current pattern of life. I personally believe that these people are undoubtedly needed to work as parts of a system in order to make the former opinion possible. In conclusion, to have a well-developed community, both views are required and must be appreciated as basic factors to success.
Generally
, there are two
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
views about a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
or unpleasant situation among those who stuck with. Like as, inappropriate jobs and low-paid ones.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
undergo with the problem, while others insist on trying to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
opportunities to their advantage. In this essay I will discuss either of these two opinions,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
giving my personal view.

Firstly
, there are individuals always thinking of improvements. They
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
assume that, if
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
they were running their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
business, it would be much better for them. They
easily
take a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
to try new things in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a difference.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
They
can’t play by the
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
rules and
they would
rather
have an influence on the environment. This brings out a challenging personality of them. Having said that we could never
fly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
for those who risked their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
that dream came true. My honest opinion is that, this group can provide a competitive atmosphere in the community that will result in
further
enhancements.

Secondly
, despite the fact that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
societies are suffering from lack of equal opportunities,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are
also
quite pessimistic about changing, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
in their profession,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
other aspects of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
For example
, it is possible for one person to refuse medical treatments as if they are in conflict with their superstitions. And
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
dread getting into a worse situation.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, this attitude breeds a tendency to maintain the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
pattern of life. I
personally
believe that these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are
undoubtedly
needed to work as parts of a system in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the former opinion possible.

In conclusion
, to have a well-developed community, both views
are required
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be appreciated
as basic factors to success.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. v. 140 v. 64

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
288 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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